Post # 46
Cheekie0077: +1. I’m even more suspicous now that you didn’t even find one conversation with her! It seems like they’re pretty close. I would imagine there will be some sort of text messages with her, but nothing at all?? I think he’s deleting them now. I would definitely talk to him now.
Post # 47
So when you talk to him, he will admit to cheating if he is, or admit to you that he has a crush on her says no man NEVER. Talk to himy ass. I don’t get this perspective at all.99.9 percent of people don’t admit they are cheating unless they get caught.
I have no problem with snooping aa long as there is a valid reason to. Someone said that if you go lookong, you would find something.Well, I also think that’s nonsensical.You would only find something if your partner was dishonest in the first gottdamn place. Then again, I’m a realist.
Post # 48
Others may disagree with me. But I wouldn’t bring up looking at his phone either. Just try asking him about the how you feel when he spends so much time with this girl, and how you feel. He should be able to explain how they arrange meeting up without texts as he has no texts on his phone.
Post # 50
anonbee290: Do you share a phone plan or a bank account? One way I caught my ex cheating back in the day was through phone bills. I just checked out bill for her number. Also you could look at bank statements for hotels etc where they go to ski or in town.
Post # 51
anonbee290: How does he communicate with her when they plan a skiing trip? If he has ever texted her then there should at least be an old text thread. If he deleted that and hasn’t deleted threads from other people I would wonder. Keep us posted. Such an awful position to be in–and I know how it feels. I’m hoping he just has a little bit of a crush on her and you talking to him will set your mind at ease.
Post # 52
anonbee290: 100% talk to him tell him how you feel, but also 100% do not mention the snoop.. are there shady phone numbers anywhere that you could see Or an abnormal amount of conversation with one person That seems out of Character or at times he isn’t with u….like for instance, not that I’m saying this is happening and I don’t wanna make u unnecessarily paranoid but it’s very easy to change a contact’s name from for example “BRO’sGF” to “Bob”….
Post # 53
Other than half a dozen tmes skiing in the winter and a double date in the past do they spend time together without you guys? Like is it a weekly occurrence?
Sometimes we have our own insecurities that blow things out of proportion. I can see how a 25 year old cute sexy thang can make your mind reel everytime your Fiance looks at her but unless you have 100%, fool proof evidence it could really be you. You said your sex life is great, no boring nights or times together, etc. All that is left to do is to have an open and honest conversation with your man about how you do not want him spending ANY time with that woman alone ever again. You don’t need to justify or explain reasons why other than you hate it and will not accept it. Like I said, if he loves you he will 100000% understand.good luck!!
Post # 54
Olay, so he has nothing in his phone, now bring up the conversation about why you are uncomfortable.These one on one ski trips would never fly with me.
Post # 55
And one day, ask if you can tag along with both of them…
Post # 56
Two things when my ex was cheating he changed her name in his phone to Mom so that he could call or text her in front of me and I wouln’t think twice if I saw it show up on his phone. I suspect he used other friends names as well. The phone bill did not lie.
#2 if you tell him you don’t want him going alone with her anymore and he gets angry or freaks out, then you know. They either are cheating or he’s considering it.
Post # 57
I think you have plenty to go on as far as having a conversation with Fiance. Just because these ski trips have a precedent, doesn’t mean you can’t tell him that you have become uncomfortable with them. There’s no other evidence, though there is a lot that sounds fishy. It’s possible that he has feelings for her or that it’s turned into an emotional affair, even if not a physical one. He’ll no doubt deny the whole thing.
You know him best, though. Is he really the type to get involved with his brother’s GF?
I agree that if nothing else is deleted it’s suspicious there are no texts or records of any phone calls.
Your only other option is to go full scale PI on them. Once you are at that point, though, is it really worth it?
Post # 58
My ex called his whore CVB in his phone, and only the first initial is correct. I echo PP, the phone bill didn’t lie. They’re married now.
Post # 59
I call BS here. Snoop and THEN ask to see his phone in front of him. This will give you time to process and react.
As for those that think snooping is wrong, switch roles here. If he was suspicious of you – would you care if he looked at your phone before coming to you? I don’t know about you but I’m an open book with nothing to hide.
Post # 60
weddingmaven: no he isn’t really the “type”. But is there really one?!
his brothers girlfriend isn’t really someone most men would consider a “knockout”. shes no blonde, big boobed spectacle. Just a really fit, unusually pretty faced, beyond smart, went to Columbia, grew up in NYC, cultured brainiac. FI’s brother kind of fits that same description. Really educated, artsy nerdy type. I once asked Fiance what he thought finally got his brother to settle down (his bro is 37 and was never the type to date long term or get serious, and now he lives with his gf) And in the words of my Fiance “I think any guy would just be fascinated with her because she’s such an anomaly. She’s exactly what Mark (his bro) was looking for”
Anyway. I am definitely going to bring this up to Fiance later. he has always been a super level- headed guy, i dont think this will turn into a screaming match.