(Closed) Paranoid she’s going to show up at the Wedding (long)

posted 7 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
3520 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: March 2012

Girl, you will have your ENTIRE family and posse of friends with you on YOUR day.  The only person who should be worried if she shows up is HER.  (((hug))) It will be okay.

Post # 4
Member
2584 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

@MrsLongcoatPeacoat: I agree, she’ll be way outnumbered by people who care about you 🙂

However, I do think you should talk to your Fiance about it. With a history like that, your feelings are completely understandable, and I think your Fiance could understand that. Maybe try addressing it carefully and make sure he knows you aren’t mad at him, just worried about the ex’s actions. Maybe he’ll be able to make you feel better about it.

Post # 6
Member
2815 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: March 2012

I think you and your Fiance should both unfriend her. 

Post # 7
Member
38 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: September 2011

I think the whole ‘girls around our fiances’ thing always makes us feel more high drama than I ever have previously. I know I have NEVER been more jealous than after we got engaged. Used to be super chill, now I feel like I’m HIDING the fact that I’m crazy! I think it’s because we are SO close to having them for good. I also think it’s all those movies about him leaving that freak us out (but when does that REALLY happen ya know? no worries!) 

So I know it might feel like a huge thing right now, but just know that he chose you, not her, and that she will fade away (either sooner or later) and that if you really trust him, then just drop it. She sounds like a crazy…..well you know what. 

I highly doubt she’ll show up. She’d have some big balls. If she does just tell her bridesmaids to tell her to leave (most people couldn’t handle that kind of confrontation and would have ot leave from sheer humiliation). Just remember that you are day is about YOU and not her. 

And I hope you have an amazing day!!! 

Post # 10
Member
2512 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

@JamieinMN: This.

 

I know that there are tons of bees on here that think having their exs on fb or their FI’s having their exs on fb is acceptable (to each their own) but personally that is just not for me. Especially in a situation like this.

I am the type of person that will cut people out of my life and be gone without a trace. I hate the drama and will not even give someone an inch into my life. And I expect the same from Fiance. 

If I were you, I would unfriend and block her and request the same from Fiance. And then make sure that those closest to you at the wedding are on “homewrecker watch”. 

Post # 11
Member
269 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

@vampywolfgirl: Oh man, she sounds CRAZYYYYYYY.

I don’t have much advice, but wish you good luck. I agree with the PPs…have a few select people on the lookout for her and if she shows up have them firmly but politely tell her she was not invited.

This should be a totally drama-free day for you. I hope she gives you that much since she’s clearly in a delusional world of her own.

Post # 12
Member
2161 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

Why is he insisting on being friends with her and bringing her and that drama into your relationship?   It sounds like you and your Fiance need to have a huge talk about boundaries and come up with a united front about this.   I would be very uncomfortable with all of this, especially since he has cheated on you in the past with her.  You’re not being jealous, you’re trying to be married and don’t need this kind of stress right now.  Are you going to be okay with her popping in and out during your marriage too?  If you feel like you need to “keep an eye on the situation”, that sends out a lot of red flags to me.   He seems to be fueling her by adding her again as a friend…

Post # 13
Member
4803 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

@MapleBecky: This. I don’t think that I would show up to the wedding if my Fiance was accepting friend requests from someone he cheated on me with for MONTHS, especially when you add in texting the exes late at night. I wouldn’t have the conversation in a humorous manner because you have every right to be mad!

Post # 14
Member
352 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

@vampywolfgirl:Regardless, that’s HIS ex that you were “keeping an eye on”. I don’t blame you for wanting to, but I personally could not live a life like that.

Post # 15
Member
2161 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

I’m still thinking about you, an hour later.   You do realize that you deserve to have a peaceful existance and should NOT have to be worrying about something like this.   Stand up for yourself but please make sure this marriage will work out before you get married.  He can’t have you both.

Post # 16
Member
7431 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2009

@MapleBecky: I agree with this. If it were my situation, I would tell my Fiance that this girl has got to go. THere is way too much history to continue to be friends with her. Especially when he cheated with her before.  It sounds like you are ok with everything, which I commend you for, but I think now you can see why this type of dynamic is not ok, and she should just be removed from your life. Defriend her and block her, and tell your Fiance to do the same

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