(Closed) parent insistence on the church to wed in.

posted 7 years ago in Interfaith
Post # 3
Member
14495 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

Welcome to the Hive!

Unless your FH is willing to convert the Catholic Church will not marry the two of you.  I understand you not wanting to insult or upset your parents, but you and your FH have to do what is best for the two of you.  I think you will have to sit down with them and talk to them that what they want is not going to work for the two of you, nor is it going to work with church doctrine.

Post # 4
Member
133 posts
Blushing bee

That is flat out false.  The Catholic Church can and frequently does marry Catholics and non-Catholics – in fact 40% of marriages in the Catholic Church are between Catholics and non-Catholics.  Catholic and Anglican are certainly common, but even Catholic and Jew or Catholic and Atheist are allowed (and there’s an entire Rite of Marriage specifically designed for a Catholic marrying a non-baptized person).

OP – have you thought about obtain a dispensation from canonical form?  That’s approval from your bishop to be married validly in a non-Catholic church by a non-catholic minister.  I am not sure how often this is approved in Nigeria, but in the US, if you have a good reason to be married in an Anglican church, it is often approved. 

 

Post # 5
Member
14495 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

@CatholicBee:   WOW!  Sorry!  I stand corrected, didn’t mean to step on your toes.  I was still going off of what I was told when we spoke to our priest when I was 22, but I really meant no offense.

Post # 6
Member
133 posts
Blushing bee

@tksjewelry: Sorry.  I didn’t mean to be so pointed in my reply.  It’s just that there’s a lot of misconceptions about the Catholic Church and they need to be nipped in the bud asap.

The Church has always allowed inter-faith marriage, so I’m sure your situation was probably a priest who did not explain things properly.  There biggest issue with being told “no” to an interfaith marriage is if you tell the priest that you want someone else to co-officiate.  They can’t allow that in a Catholic church.  Another issue is if the Catholic expresses an interest to convert to the non-Catholic faith after the marriage. 

Post # 8
Member
133 posts
Blushing bee

@momma m:  You might want to have your parents talk to a priest.  First, they cannot be denied communion for something you do.  Second, if you obtain a dispensation to marry in an Anglican church, that wedding would be as accepted and as valid as if you were married by the pope in the Vatican.

But it sounds like there are some more deep-seeded issues between you and your fiance and you and your parents.  Maybe you should talk to someone you know about resolving those issues.

Post # 9
Member
1025 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

@momma m: You said that you plan on attending his church after you’re married, but he’s not practicing. Do you mind if I ask why? Would he be willing to go to your church, or have you decided independently that you want to convert to Anglicanism?

If you think about what you want after the wedding, it will help determine what you want for the wedding.

I’m not familiar with the Knighthood, what is that?

Post # 10
Member
9 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: June 2012

@CatholicBee: 

Ok, let me preface by saying that I am not Catholic, and I’m not an expert by any means, but my sister-in-law and my brother got married in a Catholic church and had co-officiants.  They married in my SIL’s childhood cathedral and the priest officiated in tandem with my brother’s Baptist minister of choice.  I’m not sure what this means for my brother and SIL’s marriage – is it recognized in a Catholic church or not?  Did they have to do pre-Cana?  I’m not sure.  But each minister performed part of the ceremony – one performed the opening prayer, one performed the closing prayer, they each spoke a few words and basically switched back and forth through the whole ceremony.  They did not have communion, but communion, while common in Catholic weddings, is not always done in Protestant weddings.

Post # 11
Member
133 posts
Blushing bee

@lasaire:  I would have to have seen the situation to determine if it was an abuse.  But as a matter of Canon Law, no minister can co-officiate or officiate a wedding unless he is a Catholic Cleric (Deacon, Priest, or Bishop).

What sometimes happens is that the priest will officiate the wedding solely.  However, the priest will invite another minister to speak at the parts of the ceremony appropriate for a lay person to speak.  This could include a reading from the Bible or a blessing before and/or after the ceremony is complete.  Basically, a protestant minister can participate as much as you or I but cannot co-officiate any more than you or I. 

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