(Closed) parent names on invitations

posted 7 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
5095 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

It depends on how it’s worded. The people who are presented as doing the inviting are usually also the ones who are paying. Our 3 sets of parens are splitting the cost three ways, so we worded it:

Mom and Stepdad

Dad and Stepmom

and

Future Father-In-Law and Future Mother-In-Law

request the pleasure etc…

If the couple is paying for the entire wedding themselves, they can leave the parents off entirely, or say “Together with their families/parents, A and B request…”

Post # 4
Member
172 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

It usually indicates who is hosting (paying) for the wedding. 

 

Post # 6
Member
9053 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2010

It is meant to signify who’s paying for the wedding.  Sometimes it’s more honorary though.

Post # 7
Member
410 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

I think it is a respectful way to acknowledge that yours/his parents paid for the wedding, or helped. However it is also a personal thing. Mine and FI’s parents are helping us with some parts of the wedding, but we are also in our 30’s and I felt that it seemed a little weird to have our parents names on there. So we worded it “Together with their families, Mr. Boo and Ms. Peach request the honor of your company….. etc”.

Post # 8
Member
152 posts
Blushing bee

It’s ususally who pays for the wedding.  There’s a whole section on The Knot, but it’s something like if the brides parents are paying (traditional), that’s when it says something like “Mr. and Mrs. Soandso request the honor of your presence at the wedding of their daughter, Annabelle Soandso, to Joe Schmo.” 

If the couple is just paying themselves, they say “Annabelle and Joe request the honor of your presence…”

If everyone is contributing, you usually say something along the lines of “Annabelle and Joe, together with their parents, request the honor of your presence…”

Post # 9
Member
3182 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

My parents are contributing (well definitely my mom, maybe my dad) but together it’s still going to be less than 1/4 of our budget so I’m just putting our names on there.  And we will be 30 and 32 so I feel kind of weird with the whole parents thing on there anyway. 

Post # 10
Member
5095 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

@amyisnice:

I’m assuming your parents are divorced/separated? That’s harder.  If it’s something you feel like you can talk to either one of them about, I’d ask either A) your mom if she would be hurt to be left off the invite, or B) your dad if he would be upset for your mom to also be included, or for it to just say “Together with their parents…”

Post # 12
Member
5095 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

@amyisnice: I totally understand about the awkwardness! I *hate* dealing with issues like this.  I hope it’s easier than you fear!

Post # 13
Member
10287 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2011

We went with…

Together with their parents,
My parents
&
FI’s parents,

Me
&
Fiance

blah blah blah…

My parents are paying for our ceremony/reception, FI’s parents are paying for the flowers and Rehearsal Dinner and we’re paying for everything else. We wanted to acknowledge everyone on the invites since we’re all paying for it. Even if either set of parents didn’t contribute financially I think I still would have worded it the same. They’re our parents regardless of how much they fork over for our wedding and I feel that they should be respected enough to “host” the event. 

Post # 15
Member
2161 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

My parents are divorced.   We are paying for most.  But, we still wanted to acknowledge them.

 

We did:

Mom

Dad

request the honour….

 

 

son of

his parents.

Post # 16
Member
1077 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

We paid for most things, my parents paid for some things, and his parents gave us an outrageous cash gift that could have been called paying for whatever part of it.

But that aside, if we left our parents out, they’d be hurt.  And we’re children coming of age and getting married off by our parents either, so having just them do the inviting would seem weird too.

Our said

Us

along with our parents

My parents 

and 

His parents

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