(Closed) Parenting thoughts/questions…

posted 6 years ago in Parenting
Post # 3
Member
1715 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

I loved your post btw. For years I thought I wanted a hospital birth with an epidural because I didnt want the pain. Now Ive actually educated myself on natural birthing and Im stunned that so few women do it. I think women dont feel empowered enough to decide for themselves and instead trust a obgyn to make the decision of a c-section out of convenience. There is a great documentary called the Business of Birthing which is even available on Netflix and is a must watch. I think your friend is a little rediculous thinking her boobs being perky are so important compared to all the benifits of breastfeeding. With all the money you spend on formula just get implants afterwards if there that important. We are actually considerring moving since I cant actually have a homebirth in my reagion which really pisses me of. We also dont want to expose our futur children to all the crazy fisher price toys and believe in wood and cloth toys and encouraging our kids imagination. We arent ready to have children but lately its been a constant conversation and we just cant wait.

Post # 4
Member
5428 posts
Bee Keeper

I had a c-section with epidural. My baby was stuck so had no choice, I guess the baby and me would have died if no c-section was performed. Otherwise, I would have loved a natural birth. 

I did breastfeed and did my best in raising my child. I did not go with the “trends” and I still believe in raising the child without “peer” pressure, or social “fads”. Once, the child services was called becasue I had my son on a “leash” OMG! Many people deemed that child abuse, even my mom, until she witnessed an event that could have killed my son. That child is alive today (he is 25 years old) becasue of it! He would run and run and run. And take off if  he felt even a little resistance in my hand hold!  So yeah, “peer” pressure didn’t work on me.

Also I had cloth diapers and “natural” toys, and second hand clothes.

Post # 7
Member
1426 posts
Bumble bee

I’d just like to pipe in about your friend’s decision to not breast-feed to “save” her breasts.  Pre-pregnancy with me my Mum was a good sized C-cup, almost D and after being pregnant with both me and my brother, she’s went down to a floppy small B-cup, large A-cup.  She did not breast-feed either of us, but not for lack of trying!  We just weren’t interested and didn’t latch on.  Your body is going to change DRASTICALLY after being pregnant, no matter what “preventions” you think you’re taking.  Some ladies are luckier then others, but I wouldn’t count on it.

Post # 8
Member
1715 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

@happyface:  Oh ya I think medical interventions are needed sometimes and should be there when you do need them. My dad had me on those leashes when I was a kid but that was plain stupid since I would never walk away from my parents. I think I was 10 before I would walk accross the street without insisting to hold my moms hand.

 

@fvsoccer:  I think educational tv can be a good thing in a small dose. We cant wait to raise our kids. My Brother-In-Law is driving us nuts his 6 year old is going to loose all her teeth because they give her “juice”(sugar crap) and wont ever give them milk. 

 

We love the idea of making cookies from scratch with our kids on a regular bases and eating cookie dough. We consider scratch and real food healthy. Does anyone else plan on making all there own babyfood?

Post # 9
Member
7587 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2010

I am planning to do everything the natural route. Obviously, I may have cirumstances that pop up and don’t allow for me to do that. I can tell you that when I tell other woman, current Mother’s in particular, I get a lot of negative feedback from them. When I say I don’t want an epi I usually get back, “Ya you’ll change your mind” or “You have no idea what you’re in for, you won’t be able to handle it” or something along those lines. I am constantly having to defend the fact that I think it’s best for me and my child and then I get back a bunch of reasons justifying how it isn’t.

Breastfeeding, even here on the bee, also gets a lot of negative reaction. Mostly about bf’ing in public. Lots of woman think it’s personal and don’t want to see it. They want you to cover yourself and the baby up or bf in the bathroom. I am always astonished to see how many people are offended by the act of breastfeeding. 

I think as a society we tend to accept and expect that everyone do the “norm”. I have learned to just not discuss my plans with people because of the reactions I get back. It’s pretty silly

I actually got into a conversation this weekend with a woman who told me I won’t have time to make my own baby food. When I told her I thought I would she replied, “This is your first you have no idea what you’re in for living with a child”. She didn’t know me, therefore she doesn’t know that I have lived with and raised a child for the last 3 years from 1 to now 4yrs old, but I’m sure she’s right. I won’t be able to handle mashing up an avacado.

Post # 10
Member
5296 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: January 1993

@CherryWaves:  I just read an article somewhere that about this – it has nothing to do with whether you Boyfriend or Best Friend or not – it’s all due to the stretching out during the pregnancy. So once you’re pregnant, they’re already doomed!

Post # 12
Member
1715 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

I once saw a lady breastfeeding all open in one of the most beautiful and respected churches in Italy and that was a little odd (we had to cover our shoulders in the church of god but her boob can hang out there for hundreds of people to see). My cousin is a new mom who is going to school full time and still has time to make all of her own food so really I think anyone who wants to can. I think if your in a hospital giving birth its much easier to be convinced to get an epidural and other interventions since your not exactly in line with there timing (which is nearly impossible to follow). We are planning on having a midwife at home and do our own thing. If for some reason I need intervention yes I will go and have it done in a hospital I’m not stupid. I am happy there is a movement now going back to natural birthing and cloth diapers and wooden toys. My vote is follow them and the others well its there own problem.

Post # 13
Member
9029 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

I think its a combination of things. we have become so modern that we often do look for the easiest, fastest option without even trying the natural options. I know many people who will not consider a natural birth because they have heard it will be too painful and they dont want to ruin their lady parts. Of course many years ago you had no other choice but to atleast attempt a natural birth. I do know people who wont attempt breast feeding because they fear their boobs will sag, ofcourse if there was no other option  they would go ahead and breast feed but because there are now so many times of formula available, some moms dont even see the point of trying.  Each to their own. for me its worth it to try the natural options, even if its more effort in the same way that I would pay more for organic food because I know its better for me

Post # 13
Member
2695 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: February 2008

Ugh, I hate the self-righteousness of posts like this.  I think the hardest thing about parenting today is how judgemental moms are of each other.  It makes everything so exhausting when people are all holier-than-thou and judgemental about what other moms do. 

@Roxannev should not have to JUSTIFY why she gave birth the way she did.  i wish we could just support each other, support that there are many ways to do things and in most cases, there is not RIGHT or WRONG. 

@OP, following on your thinking, we managed for thousands of years to watch loved ones die of diseases, should we not avail ourselves of medications to prevent such deaths because they are unnatural?  Should we have surgery without anesthetic? Not give diabetes patients insulin? Society HAS advanced, and people should feel free to choose to use or not use those advancements without the condescening opinions of other women. 

Post # 14
Member
14496 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

@fvsoccer:  I think that’s just the way everything is going.  Everything about life now is about making it easier, I mean, what about SIRI for one, we cant even pick up our phone and hit a few buttons anymore??  so why not this too?  I personally hate it, and its not confined to this topic, that’s just a small part of the big picture…. and think we’re just dooming ourselves as a species if we cant keep up with ourselves and modern meds, but.. that’s just the way we seem to be headed.  I cant deny theres been great discoveries and a lot of it is wonderful, but I think we’ve definitely become too reliant on it.

Post # 15
Member
5786 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2011

I think romanticizing simpler times is a luxury of the modern world. Sure your body was built to give birth and you can deal with the pain but you don’t have to. I’m not going to get a tooth pulled without a local anesthetic just because people used to do that and can obviously get through the pain.

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