- 8 years ago
I check out the baby/parenting boards quite often, even though I don’t have any kids myself yet. I’ve come across so many posts where the poster is worried about a decision she has made that is deemed socially unacceptable by the majority of other bees (mainly breastfeeding vs formula). Sometimes the argument goes “a happy mother is best for baby even if it is at the expense of better nutrition/lifelong better health”. (In no way am I stating that better health is guaranteed by BFing.) But that is how it usually goes. Anyway, that is beside the point of my post…
I usually wonder while reading the thread how parenting/mothering got to be so…I’m struggling to find the right word. What I mean is, how did we as women get to the point where parts of parenting are deemed almost unmanageable. (natural births, breastfeeding, etc). This is health issues aside….I guess what I am asking is do you bees think it is more the pressures of society in expecting women to work and parent that make seeking the easiest option so popular, even at the expense of the mom or baby (ie: c-sections, formula feeding).
Or do you think it is because we live in a manner so far removed from our natural history (meaning many of us have rarely seen a natural birth, or any birth for that matter, and discussion of natural processes is taboo topic or natural processes are avoided/frowned upon by society- aging, poor health, physical pain, death).
I guess it might be helpful to give an example…Please don’t feel like I’m attacking anyone for their choices…It is just what I think when I hear something along these lines. My friend doesn’t want to Boyfriend or Best Friend because she is afraid it will make her boobs shrink. Since she doesn’t want to Boyfriend or Best Friend due to this fear, she is afraid BFing for babies sake will maker her an unhappy mama. So she is going to formula feed so that she feels happier (which she thinks is better for baby than the health/bonding of BFing) and save her boobs (hopefully) in the process.
I just wonder how mamas have managed for thousands of years, and a lot of them without feeling completely miserable, or if they aren’t having a good go of it, accepting it as a natural process that has to be dealt with as a mother.
Mainly, I’m asking do you think this, for lack of a better word, trend in choosing the easier option (whether it be epidurals, c-sections, formula, whatever) over the natural option is a good one? Could we go back to more historically natural patterns of mothering without sacrificing our careers/personal freedoms? Do you think moms are more happy now with the modern conveniences?
Anyway, sorry it was so long…just some thoughts. Not meant to be a debate over which choices are right/wrong/good/bad just more a philosophical dialogue…