Post # 1
Member
52 posts
Worker bee
Bees I need advice.
I am getting married in 6 months and my parents are not a fan of my fiance… They change their mind about him every week… one day he’s great, another day he isn’t. My parents have been generous enough to let us live with them for the past two years. I am very frugal when it comes to money so I save as much as I possibly can and my parents thought it was a great idea for us to move in with them pay them cheap rent ($700.00) a month and save. We both have good jobs… we both carry our weight and he is a wonderful guy. Literally treats me like a princess every day of the week. I love him more then life itself. However, my parents talk to me about him all the time… they actually were pissed off one day that he didn’t offer to help my father with bringing in a new microwave even though three different people asked him if he needed help. My father states he doesn’t take the initiative which I personally think is incorrect. My fiance does the dishes, takes care of the lawn, helped them move anything you ask him to do and he is up and doing it! Most of the time he just does it without even being asked. I just don’t know what to do anymore. I am ready to move out but my parents keep stating that it is a stupid decision on my part. The other day they sat me down and made a comment that we were going to have ugly grandchildren due to him… and that they wouldn’t of picked him for me. I am torn. I love my parents but they are truly pushing me away like you wouldn’t believe. I really need advice. This is putting a huge damper on my relationship with fiance because he is upset with how they are treating me. They never say anything to him they always come to me and it bothers me more then you could ever imagine. I am sorry for the long rant. I am just at a loss for words and don’t know what to do. I feel like I have my parents pulling one arm and my fiance pulling the other and they are about to come out of the socket.
Once again thank you for reading my rant… and any advice would be greatly appreciated.
Post # 3
Member
4950 posts
Honey bee
Move out. ASAP. Things won’t get any better while living with your parents. They’ll continue to make rude and inappropriate comments to try to drive the two of you apart. A one bedroom apartment sounds a hundred times better than the situation you’re in now.
Post # 4
Member
45 posts
Newbee
I definitely think you should move out. You’ll be able to have a better relationship with your parents and your Fiance if you aren’t all living together.
Post # 5
Member
52 posts
Worker bee
Thank you ladies! I am just worried that if I move out they will disown me. However, I am not willing to give up my fiance for anything.
Post # 6
Member
4950 posts
Honey bee
@futuremrsmaxwell2209: If they do that, it’s their problem. You’re a grown woman who can make her own decisions. If they don’t respect that, it’s on them and not you. Do what’s best for you and your relationship.
Post # 7
Member
116 posts
Blushing bee
I feel for you. It is very heard to be in the middle. I am sure your parents love you and only want the best for you. Hopefully they will come around to loving your Fiance.
I’m not sure how much you can rent an apartment for where you live but $700/month isn’t exactly “cheap”. I’m sure for a few hundred dollars more a month you and your Fiance could rent your own apartment and get away from the drama.
I wish you luck in any case. *hugs*
Post # 9
Member
779 posts
Busy bee
Frugal or not, it’s not worth the grudges that will be formed, and then nursed for years to come. I’m frugal and currently living with my parents and fiancee(fiancee is still in uni), so we’re in sort of the same situation. But, my parents love my fiancee. They loved him even before we started dating..Haha
But I can’t handle taking handouts (not saying that’s what you’re doing, you two clearly carry your own weight), so I know I need to get out. They don’t realize it, but they treat us like we owe them something because of this, even though we pay rent, half the bills, we basically take care of the house since they’re always out of the country… But they stll sort of hold it over us, not in a mean way, but just in a way like, if we don’t go out of our way for them, it’s a HUGE deal, whenever normally it would be a non-issue. And I’m the youngest of the family, so this isn’t helping me with prooving to them that I’m a grown woman… Lol, if I let her, my Mom would pack my lunches and lay my clothes out for me every day before work.
So I just have to get out of there, and I advice you to do the same! And your situation even seems a lit more toxic to me. Good luck with whatever you choose!
Post # 10
Member
52 posts
Worker bee
@silkspectre94: I appreciate that! Yeah we pay for everything ourselves… we truly carry our own weight. I haven’t moved out because everytime I would bring it up they would make me feel like it is a stupid decision on my part when I could be saving money… but I have now hit my breaking point.
Post # 11
Member
1524 posts
Bumble bee
I would tell them that you’re moving out because you can’t stand their critism and that it’s hurting you and your fiancé. Make sure they realize that they are responsible, and that their behavior won’t be tolerated. I would have a place to move first, though. In case they decide to be unreasonable.
Post # 12
Member
52 posts
Worker bee
Thank you! we already have the apartment just put ourselves on a waiting list. Because of my parents.
Post # 13
Member
44 posts
Newbee
Move out. Maybe all you need is some space between your parents and fiance!
Post # 14
Member
497 posts
Helper bee
@futuremrsmaxwell2209: “I am getting married in 6 months and my parents are not a fan of my fiance… They change their mind about him every week… one day he’s great, another day he isn’t. My parents have been generous enough to let us live with them for the past two years.”
That’s as far as I read. Move out! Whatever it is you guys are better off in a place of your own. There is nothing better than having your own place. Trust.
Post # 15
Member
1413 posts
Bumble bee
- Wedding: September 2019 - City, State
@soon2bmrsjackson: I’m not sure how much you can rent an apartment for where you live but $700/month isn’t exactly “cheap”. I’m sure for a few hundred dollars more a month you and your Fiance could rent your own apartment and get away from the drama.
That was I was thinking. She’s in VA, but I was thinking, is the cost of living THAT high, that paying parents $700 is a good deal? My mortgage on a townhouse in GA is only $431.00 With bills, I’m about $850 a month by myself. Granted, I don’t have fancy cable or super internet, but I’m good.
Post # 16
Member
1105 posts
Bumble bee
I cant believe 700 is cheap! Agh! Not for your sanity! Its important for you to move out as soon as possible, and I mean ASAP! But whatever you do, it needs to be a joint decision that you both feel comfortable with and agree to spend X amount of money. You cant move and then three months down the road be angry and arguing about your new 1000/mo apartment/electricity/gas/water/cable/internet bill. That wouldnt be solving anything.
Good luck!