(Closed) Parents and the fiance….

posted 5 years ago in Family
  • poll: Would you stay or move out?
    Stay : (1 votes)
    2 %
    Move Out : (64 votes)
    98 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    4679 posts
    Honey bee

    Move out. ASAP. Things won’t get any better while living with your parents. They’ll continue to make rude and inappropriate comments to try to drive the two of you apart. A one bedroom apartment sounds a hundred times better than the situation you’re in now. 

    Post # 4
    Member
    45 posts
    Newbee
    • Wedding: June 2013

    I definitely think you should move out. You’ll be able to have a better relationship with your parents and your FI if you aren’t all living together.

    Post # 6
    Member
    4679 posts
    Honey bee

    @futuremrsmaxwell2209:  If they do that, it’s their problem. You’re a grown woman who can make her own decisions. If they don’t respect that, it’s on them and not you. Do what’s best for you and your relationship. 

    Post # 7
    Member
    116 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: May 2014

    I feel for you. It is very heard to be in the middle. I am sure your parents love you and only want the best for you. Hopefully they will come around to loving your FI.

     

    I’m not sure how much you can rent an apartment for where you live but $700/month isn’t exactly “cheap”. I’m sure for a few hundred dollars more a month you and your FI could rent your own apartment and get away from the drama. 

     

    I wish you luck in any case. *hugs*

    Post # 9
    Member
    781 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: September 2013

    Frugal or not, it’s not worth the grudges that will be formed, and then nursed for years to come. I’m frugal and currently living with my parents and fiancee(fiancee is still in uni), so we’re in sort of the same situation. But, my parents love my fiancee. They loved him even before we started dating..Haha

    But I can’t handle taking handouts (not saying that’s what you’re doing, you two clearly carry your own weight), so I know I need to get out. They don’t realize it, but they treat us like we owe them something because of this, even though we pay rent, half the bills, we basically take care of the house since they’re always out of the country… But they stll sort of hold it over us, not in a mean way, but just in a way like, if we don’t go out of our way for them, it’s a HUGE deal, whenever normally it would be a non-issue. And I’m the youngest of the family, so this isn’t helping me with prooving to them that I’m a grown woman… Lol, if I let her, my Mom would pack my lunches and lay my clothes out for me every day before work.

    So I just have to get out of there, and I advice you to do the same! And your situation even seems a lit more toxic to me. Good luck with whatever you choose!

    Post # 11
    Member
    1497 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: October 2012

    I would tell them that you’re moving out because you can’t stand their critism and that it’s hurting you and your fiancé. Make sure they realize that they are responsible, and that their behavior won’t be tolerated. I would have a place to move first, though. In case they decide to be unreasonable.

    Post # 13
    Member
    44 posts
    Newbee
    • Wedding: September 2013

    Move out.  Maybe all you need is some space between your parents and fiance!

    Post # 14
    Member
    496 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: January 1993

    @futuremrsmaxwell2209:  “I am getting married in 6 months and my parents are not a fan of my fiance… They change their mind about him every week… one day he’s great, another day he isn’t. My parents have been generous enough to let us live with them for the past two years.”


    That’s as far as I read. Move out! Whatever it is you guys are better off in a place of your own. There is nothing better than having your own place. Trust.

    Post # 15
    Member
    1269 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: September 2013

    @soon2bmrsjackson:  I’m not sure how much you can rent an apartment for where you live but $700/month isn’t exactly “cheap”. I’m sure for a few hundred dollars more a month you and your FI could rent your own apartment and get away from the drama. 


    That was I was thinking. She’s in VA, but I was thinking, is the cost of living THAT high, that paying parents $700 is a good deal? My mortgage on a townhouse in GA is only $431.00 With bills, I’m about $850 a month by myself. Granted, I don’t have fancy cable or super internet, but I’m good.

    Post # 16
    Member
    1109 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: May 2014

    I cant believe 700 is cheap! Agh! Not for your sanity! Its important for you to move out as soon as possible, and I mean ASAP! But whatever you do, it needs to be a joint decision that you both feel comfortable with and agree to spend X amount of money. You cant move and then three months down the road be angry and arguing about your new 1000/mo apartment/electricity/gas/water/cable/internet bill. That wouldnt be solving anything. 

     

    Good luck!

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