Post # 1
Fiance and I worked for over an hour coming up with a seating plan for our reception, 150 people, at my parents house..
We went to show it to my parents.. they were like, “we dont need to do that, why do we need that?? its so Rigid!” Their other argument was, how could you possibly think that THOSE people could sit together? (UUMMM becuase we dont know them and you invited more people to this wedding than we did!)
They werent willing to work with us on “fixing” it so thier friends could sit where my parents thought fit…
So frustrating.. we ended up doing away with it becuase the argument isnt worth it to me, were so close to the wedding and he doesnt live with my parents like i do so he wont hav to deal with them.. but Fiance feels we NEED one and wants to do one and implement it anyway… ughhhh
Post # 3
Ultimately, it’s your wedding. I would try explaining to your parents that if you don’t have a seating plan, people will still end up sitting by people they don’t know (i.e. there are only so many seats, and in the end, the last people seated will have to sit where ever is left… maybe with people they don’t know.) Try to make them a part of it, and in a positive way ask for their help. If you think they will be more receptive, meet with your parents alone.
Post # 4
Oh man, that sounds stressful!
I went to a weddign recently of about 80 people with no seating plan and it was CHAOS! I can’t imagine if it was nearly double! Without a seating plan, people will be fighting over seats, there will be hurt feelings as certain grps have to split up when the tables start to fill out.
Be strong and keep your chin up! This is your wedding and if you and your Fiance want a seating plan, they you’re going to have one.
My best advice for dealing with over bearing parents is to use as few words as possible. It lets them know you mean business and keeps you from talking in circles.
Post # 5
@Kandiss16: were you planning on doing escort cards or place cards?
Escort being designating a table and place card designating a particular seat.
If you were doing pacecards, could you comprimise on an escort card?
*Escort cards are polite. Some weddings become a free for all with out them. A card ensures that tables will not become over crowded (despite place settings people add chairs to tables) and that each person’s place was thought about. – NOT that people won’t try to change seating anyway, but it helps prevent it.
Post # 6
What kind of meal are you having? Is it possible to say that the caterer requires it?
Post # 7
We were doing escort cards
Buffet.. caterer doesnt require :/
Post # 8
I have always been very anti-seating chart, but after my small wedding of 40, I’ve come to see the benefits of having one and the possible negatives of skipping it. We had a super small, super intimate beach wedding. The ONLY guest I did not know was a random Internet date one of the Groomsmen who had just gone through an awful break-up of a long-term relationship brought. To be very blunt, she ended up being a skantily clad, ignorant 20 year old who saw nothing wrong with sitting right beside me at my wedding reception (my Maid/Matron of Honor got booted to another table…) and then proceeded to almost ruin my evening with her nonsense & stupidity. I won’t go into more details, but suffice it to so that I REALLY wish I could go back and have escort cards or something. It was the only part of the entire wedding weekend that I regret. And I say this as a bride who never understood why you’d want one, lol!
Post # 9
Maybe you could just assign tables rather than seats, therefore making it less “rigid”? I think it’ll be chaos with no plan at all. Can you have your parents give you some guidelines re: who they think should or shouldn’t sit together?
Post # 10
- Wedding: November 2013 - St. Augustine Beach, FL
@Kandiss16: I would use your original seating plan but just not discuss it with your parents; let them find out the seating plan at the reception.
Post # 11
Honestly, I would just move forward with the seating chart that you have. Your parents have just expressed their opinion, not given an ultimatum (right?). Those who don’t like each other can ignore or swap seats as needed; since it is a gathering of mostly familar people.