(Closed) Parents are not happy with my wedding dress :'(

posted 7 years ago in Dress
Post # 3
Member
225 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

This is a difficult situation. I understand what you say. I bought my dress on my first trip to my first store and after I made the deposit I started having second thoughts.

Well, the question is, do you love your dress? If you do, you shouldn’t feel so bad!! I understand what your parents say, but this is your wedding, you only do it once, this is your wedding dress. Are they paying for the dress? You said you put it on your credit card, so I’m thinking you’re the one who’s paying for it, right?

Yeah, it might have been a little impulsive and probably you would have got a better price if you looked a little better, but I say for experience that when you start shopping for a wedding dress, you probably don’t have much experience or knowledge. I didn’t have any.

There are several things you can do: You can call the store and ask if you can cancel your order. You may lose your deposit, but it may still be cheaper than to pay the whole price. How much did you pay as deposit?

Another option is to sell it after your wedding, that way you could recover some money and I bet that would make your parents feel better.

One more thing: If this is your dream wedding dress, don’t get rid of it just because you feel guilty. Your parents might seem upset now, but they want your hapiness and probably will forget about all this when they see you on your wedding dress. If you get rid of your dress before the ceremony, I suspect you’ll regret it.

Good luck!!

Post # 4
Member
2192 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

Sounds like you paid for it yourself.  In all honesty, eventhough you love and respect your parents opinion, you are the one getting married.  This is YOUR special day.  If you want a $2000 dress than so be it.  You are an adult.  Sit them down and tell them that you value what they have to say but that on this one issue you love your dress and are confidant in your purchase.  

Post # 5
Member
811 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 2011

I think your feelings are very reasonable, but you’re right that you have to come to peace with it before your wedding.

Its easy to get caught up in the moment and buy a dress before thinking about all the details (like price) and bridal salons will play on that. You’re not the first bride or the last bride to get swept up in that moment. I would let that go and stop feeling guilty about it. The money is spent and you’re making smart decisions from now on. Plus. if you have to splurge on something a dress is a good thing.

When I went dress shopping I realized that I was going to have to up my budget by $500 to get a lace dress…so Fiance and I talked about it and we did, bought my dress. What I didn’t account for were alterations. Not only did I go $500 over budget, but when its all said and done I am going to spend around $600 on alterations. D’oh! So, I basically bought a dress that is $1000 over my original budget.

Do you think you’d be able to talk to your parents? Explain to them that you got swept up in the moment and made an expensive decision, but you love your dress and are excited to wear it…and just glad that weddings are only once so you’ll never be tempted to spend that kind of money again. I think if you acknowledge to them that its very expensive they’ll relax a little.

Post # 6
Member
837 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

Okay, I’m going to be honest.  Could you afford the $2300 dress?  If you can, then who cares?  Are you the one who actually bought the dress?  If you are then who cares?  It’s your money and your parents have no business telling you how to spend it.  If you’re old enough to get married you’re old enough to determine how your money gets spent.  You’re parents can suck on an egg if they don’t like it, it isn’t their money. (btw I hope you took that last part with the hilarity that it was meant to convey).

I do think that maxing out your credit card was a little rash (did you really max it out or were you just exaggerating to get a point across?), but the fact is, if you can pay it off then don’t worry about it.

Post # 7
Member
994 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

Totally agree with baletrina. That said, I know that in different cultures, parent’s opinions weigh heavily and guilt can eat you up and I can see that is happening here. However, if you love the dress, it is your concern only. Parents are never going to agree with everything you do. It’s your life. Good luck.

Post # 8
Member
1664 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

If you love it then you shouldn’t feel guilty. You only get married once (hopefully).. so do what you want!

Post # 9
Member
39 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: August 2011

@shaydenise: Thats just a tad rude to say about someones parents in my opinion, even if you are joking.

 

To be honest that is a lot of money if your having a small wedding with only 30 guests. I can see why your parents would be upset but thats no excuse for them to make you feel this bad. 🙁 I’m sorry your having to deal with this but for future reference, NEVER and I mean NEVER let a sales consultant put that kind of pressure on you to buy anything. Chances are she just wanted to make the sale. I had the same kind of experience at DB. I wanted to purchase an Oleg Cassini dress that I fell in love with but she told me that I’d have to purchase it that day or else it wouldn’t be ready on time. Since I’m not one to fall under anyones pressure I just said “nah no thanks, I’ll try somewhere else.” My mom and I went to browse a few other dresses on the racks and she comes back and says “well actually it turns out you can order anytime this month and it will come in about 1 month before your wedding.” I literally laughed in her face and said if you are THAT desperate to make your commission of me I’m going to go ahead and say… NO. I left and purchased my dress from another DB and it’s sitting in my closet right now… 5 MONTHS BEFORE MY WEDDING. It’s amazing how these sales consultants take advantage of people.

Again I’m so sorry you have to deal with this. I think your doing the best thing by putting your dress up for sale and I hope you make a good deal of your money back. It’s sweet of you to think about and respect your parents so much. Thats awesome to hear and good to know that there are people who still value their parents opinion. Now while most people will say it’s “your” day, it’s not fair to be a diva about anything either which in your case your absolutely not being that way. Good luck hun!

(hugs)

Post # 10
Member
94 posts
Worker bee

I am sorry for you but things have away of working outLaughing

Post # 11
Member
2154 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

If you can afford it and you like it, I don’t see a problem. You should spend your own money however you like, as far as I’m concerned.

Post # 12
Member
175 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

***Hug*** 

I would ask them if there is any possible way to cancel the order or get the sale price.  It never hurts to ask right?  Maybe tell your story too to soften them up??

Oh yea…about the sales people.  Be careful of some of them, they can be really pushy.  I think the best bridal consultants are the ones that don’t make you feel like they’re trying to make you buy the dress on the spot.  Anytime I felt like that, I immediately just shut down and turned down the dress.  The best thing to do before purchasing anything for your wedding is to sleep on it.  That’s the best advice I’ve ever followed.  There were some things where I woke up the next day and told myself…I’m glad I didn’t make that purchase! 

 

Post # 13
Member
837 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

@LoveBunny21:  I disagree.  She isn’t a child.  Her money is no other person’s concern aside from the IRS.  Don’t be so high and mighty, it was a joke.

Post # 15
Member
39 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: August 2011

@shaydenise: Well you can go ahead and disagree what whatever you want without being rude. Talk about trying to be “high and mighty” lol. I just don’t think it’s appropriate to tell someones parents to “suck and egg” maybe thats how you talk about your parents but thats not how I talk about mine. How childish.

Post # 16
Member
606 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

Wedding dresses are expensive, and parent’s don’t always understand that.  My Mom nearly had a heart attack when I told her how much the dress cost.  Then I told her to watch some episodes of say yes to the dress, and while she still thinks spending so much on a dress is nuts, she kind of got it.  I mean, spending all of this money on one day is kinda nuts, but we do it anyway. 

I looked up the dress and it’s GORGEOUS.  I’m sure you will be able to sell it after and recoup some of the money.  Don’t stress… unless it’s going to cause long term financial problems, then it’s ok that you splurged on your dress.  You are going to look amazing.

@shaydenise:  I agree, and your comment made me laugh.

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