Post # 1
Like millions of people out there I didn’t have the greatest of childhoods. So, when the time came I moved away to college I never returned. To this day I only visit my parents a few times a year, but I don’t talk/email/etc… between my visits. Truth be told, my parents don’t care for me all that much which is the primary reason I avoid communication with them. Because of this, I have never brought anyone home.
Lately, there has been a lot of wedding talk among me and my SO–We’re so happy! My FIL’s are just as geeked about it as well. So it’s getting to the point where I am eventually going to need to introduce my SO to my family (oy vey). This makes me NOT happy. In fact, it kind of… Ruins the moment for me.
So, my questions to you all are:
How did you introduce your SO/FF to your family?
Did you let your parents know you were bringing someone or did you just show up with your SO?
What are a few do’s and don’ts?
Do you have any tips?
My family usually has BBQ’s during the summer. I think this would be a casual enough atmosphere, right? What do you all think?
If I don’t make it home this summer, would inviting him to Thanksgiving be too awkward for a first meeting because it’s during the holiday season?
I would appreciate any advice!
Post # 3
The BBQ will be a perfect casual atmosphere to introduce him! Hope you can make it!
However, its never too late to start corresponding by mail – even if they do not reply! If you do not make it home this summer – send a little note saying how you will miss the food, the celebrating, BBQ etc. and then drop a little sentence in there about how FF was looking forward to meeting them, and it looks like thanksgiving will work out better…signing off with using the word “WE” – WE cant wait to visit at thanksgiving etc…
I met my daughters fiancee only once before they were engaged – and it was all right by us as shes an adult and we raised her right – that includes finding a life partner of her choice, whom we do love and think he is the cats meow and well, she was in college and lived over 7 hours away too lol. We also dont expect our daughters to be checking in all the time – life happens and we want you to live it!!! Hopefully your parents feel the same way…and if they dont, thats their loss, and thats how healthy parents think…
So Good luck and I hope the first meeting works out fine!
Post # 4
@montanamum Ha! I think if I send an email with “we” in any sentence it would probably give my mom a heart attack (insert dark humor about the situation working itself out naturally :P).
If I’m unable to make it home, would the Thanksgiving scenario be alright? The BBQ scenario is ideal, but I don’t know how probable.
Any scenario is going to be a disaster, I just want my better half to be as comfortable as possible!
Post # 5
LOL thats why i was advocating the note sent home if you cant make the BBQ – maybe by the time you two show up at thanksgiving, they would have worked out some of the kinks and coping mechanisms (yelling, screaming, whatev lol) before you two arrive…
I think whatever you do, in order for him to be comfortable, and have a way out (to talk to someone else who is neutral, non crazy etc.), introduce him when theres a crowd – bad people usually try not to act too crazy when theres many witnesses lol so they might go easy on him if family thanksgivings are a “lotsa people affair”…Otherwise if you do a one on one, it might get like an interrogation for him :o!
Post # 6
@montanamum: Fortunately, I don’t come from a yelling family. 🙂 I think I will give a 72 hour notice to my parents if he does come (to either event). I will also make sure there are a lot of people there (per your advice) and also mention that one of us has to work so we won’t have to stay long. Quick like a bandaid!
Or I might chicken out all together and wait to introduce him to them until there is an official ring on my finger! :X
Post # 7
@evlpc: I agree with @montanamum:
I think whatever you do, in order for him to be comfortable, and have a way out (to talk to someone else who is neutral, non crazy etc.), introduce him when theres a crowd – bad people usually try not to act too crazy when theres many witnesses lol so they might go easy on him
I think it might be harder around the holidays. Good luck!