(Closed) Parents blessing prior to proposal

posted 7 years ago in Proposals
  • poll: Should I ask for parents blessing?
    Yes : (63 votes)
    72 %
    No : (24 votes)
    28 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    5093 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: January 2012

    I think it’s your own call in this situation.  Do you think she would be happy you asked?  Then do it.  Do you think they would be unhappy if you don’t ask?  Then do it.  If, on the other hand, you think neither party will care, or if you think your girlfriend might actually be upset that you did, then you shouldn’t ask.

    Post # 4
    Member
    4284 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: June 2012

    I think your both established individuals and there is no need to ask for permission. I am VERY traditional and expected my FH ask my dad but it is our first time wedding and such. I say go for it!!!

    Post # 5
    Member
    408 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: June 2012

    You both may have been married before, but now you’re marrying each other and it’s still respectful to ask for a parents blessing since it’s a new and different relationship all around.

    Post # 6
    Member
    4824 posts
    Honey bee

    I think its a nice gesture of respect and it is romantic as the female. In reality its not really “permission” since you would probably do it no matter what they said. Its a nod to tradition.

    Post # 7
    Hostess
    16195 posts
    Honey Beekeeper

    Is getting her parents’ blessing something that is important to her? I think that’s the biggest question.

    My husband was afraid of my mom spilling the beans, so he asked their permission just hours before proposing so she wouldn’t have any time to let the secret leak. 🙂

    Post # 8
    Member
    167 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: February 2013

    If my fiance didn’t ask my parent’s blessing, I would have been devastated. And like you, we are somewhat older. If it wasn’t neccesary at least it shows you respect her parents and might earn you some brownie points too! If it pleases your fiance and her parents, then you done good! Good luck! Everyone is different, but I don’t see any harm in this old tradition so you win either way!

    Post # 9
    Member
    2232 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: September 2012

    I’m on the other side of this and I’m younger (27). If Fiance had asked my parents I would not have been happy. We live together and own our own place. I don’t need my parents permission or blessing to do anything nor did they want to be asked. 

    However, if it’s important to her then ask. 

    Post # 10
    Member
    108 posts
    Blushing bee

    I voted no because I hate that whole thing–I would probably not say yes to someone who asked my parents before asking me.  Also you guys are adults and have been married before–asking her parents is kind of overdoing it.  It’s like asking to borrow some sugar after the cake has been baked.

    But if she’s mentioned that this is something that would be important to her or if you think that this would be something important to her (good source to check is her best female friend) then do it.  Everyone likes different things and what makes me see red can make someone else swoon.

    Post # 11
    Member
    1042 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: June 2012

    Please do it out of respect for her family. My Fiance phoned my dad about an hour before he asked me, so there was no chance of anything slipping.

    If you can just sneak away for a moment at the airport, or shortly before you leave I think it is such an honorable gesture.

     

     

    Post # 12
    Member
    167 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: February 2013

    @nerdface: Wow. Just curious as to why you hate it so much? (don’t reply if you don’t feel like it 🙂

    Post # 13
    Member
    6009 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: May 2009

    I think it’s only important to do if it’s important to her.  Some people think it’s really romantic, some people think it’s downright insulting.  Maybe you can hint around a bit and see if she would like it before committing to the idea?

    Post # 14
    Member
    1559 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: June 2011

    Ok, here are my thoughts: 

    1. You obviously don’t *need* to ask permission, since you’re adults, but if she would appreciate her parents blessing first, then there’s nothing wrong with it. 

    2. Really, at this point, it’s more like you’re just giving them a heads up that you’re going to propose, than anything, since you’re grown adults and you plan to propose either way. 

    3. Only ask for their blessing if you know you’re going to get it. I have a friends who didn’t get the blessing the first time around! 

    For us, this wasn’t something that Darling Husband ever had to do, b/c my dad kept asking Darling Husband “When are you going to marry my daughter?” They love him, so he just let them know he was proposing before he did it…. it wasn’t really a “blessing” thing, b/c he already had their blessing without asking. 

    Post # 15
    Member
    4336 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: October 2011

    It really depends on the people, and only you know the situation.

    Is your Girlfriend of the more traditional mindset, and also her parents? If so, I would say almost any father would appreciate being asked for a “blessing” (not necessarily “permission.”) 

    But if not…then it’s your call.

    Post # 16
    Member
    1290 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: June 2012

    I am 44 and my Fiance is 48…he asked my Dad for his blessing (Mom is deceased) just before proposing. I thought it was sweet! He told his mom what he was planning and showed her the ring too. I say go for it, it’s very old school and cute. Cool

    The topic ‘Parents blessing prior to proposal’ is closed to new replies.

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