(Closed) Parent's blessing?

posted 5 years ago in United Kingdom
Post # 3
Member
12 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: September 2013

@TopazTurtle:  We didn’t ask permission. I personally don’t like it as a tradition. It feels very old-fashioned, before women had rights. I feel like I’m my own person and therefore the only person who needs to be asked is me. I also don’t agree with being given away for the same reason. I’m not a possession to be given away so I’ll walk myself. I am, however, close to my Dad but he understands my reasoning and is happy with it. Hope this is helpful.

 

Post # 4
Member
192 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: December 2013

My fiance is very traditional so yes he did ask for my parents’ blessing before asking me. He didn’t tell me that he’d done it until after the proposal but I didn’t have a problem with it. My parents are also very old-fashioned and from a different culture where that would be expected so in our case, my fiance did the right thing tbh. 

Post # 5
Member
850 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

My fiance took my Dad to then pub, sat him down, expalined how much he loved me and and asked for his permission to marry me.

I knew nothing about it until after I had tried to suprise my folks with the news (it was a suprise to me to be asked) and they were not so suprised at all!

Ive always been anti asking for all the reasons cuddle addict mentioned.

But I think Dad really apreciated it and it gave the two best me in my life a chance to have an honest chat…..and as it was a huge suprise to me it proved to Dad that fiance thought up the idea all by himself and didnt get badgered into it!

……I also told my fiance he missed a trick. He should have seen what he could get out of Dad by way of a dowry!

Post # 6
Member
595 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

My Fiance asked my dad for my hand. it was his choice, he didnt have to i dont think my dad wud have minded either way.

Post # 7
Member
2070 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2014

I think it depends. I asked Fiance not to ask my dad beforehand, but that was more because I really wanted to be there myself when we told my dad. My dad has a terrible habit of saying the wrong thing and I knew that if Fiance had already asked him he would say “oh, we already knew” when we announced our engagement. But feminism did play a part in that decision as well. I don’t regret it one bit – I will never forget seeing the smile spread across my dad’s face when we told him. Plus my parents had known Fiance for over 8 years anyway so it’s not like they had much to ask him about his prospects, lol!

But my friend’s sister’s husband asked her dad before proposing and I know he appreciated it. He is fairly traditional.

So I think it depends on your own family dynamic. 🙂

Post # 8
Member
601 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: March 2013

my husband asked my dad as well.  He didn’t have to but it is a nice touch I think to give the father of the bride his place and show some respect.  It’s actually a long standing UK tradition going back to arranged marriages where there would be negociations for the brides hand.

 

My husband just took my dad for a pint and asked him how he’d feel about us getting married.  He then asked for his blessing which my dad readily gave, i think he was secretly pleased that my husband had thought of him 🙂

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