(Closed) Parents Breaking My Heart

posted 4 years ago in Emotional
Post # 46
Member
1450 posts
Bumble bee

My husband’s parents are divorced and remarried so I can understand what you went through.  We went through some similar things.  I would encourage you to do 2 things:

1. Read the book “Boundaries” by Dr. Henry Cloud.  – it teaches you how to have boundaries with your loved ones and how to deal with when families members and friends try and take you for an emotional ride. 

2.  I would suggest saying to your mom/stepdad.  “Mom and Stepdad, it was truly not my intention to try and hurt your feelings and I apologize if it came accross that way, but this is how we have planned our wedding and we aren’t going to change it.  I would really like you to attend and be part of this special day with me your my family and I love you but I understand if that is too much for you.  It’s totally your choice.”

Post # 47
Member
1369 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: February 2017 - Seattle, WA

I’m sorry but your mom and stepdad sound like horribly selfish people, and if my parents treated me this way i can’t imagine wanting them at my wedding.  I’m sorry you’re in such a stressful position.  I’d give them back the money they’ve given so far, and continue planning  your day the way YOU want.

Post # 48
Member
308 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: February 2016

Some people use money to control others, sadly it seems that people you trusted and cared about are doing that to you. I would pay them back what they had given, do my best to scale down (I know you said it’s not possible but do what you can), and invite them as regular guests. I’m petty so I’d also re-order my invitations sans their name. That way they can choose to either come and be parents to you, or behave like children and not come to this once in a life time event. I feel like either way and even though it’s horrible, you know who they really are now and can choose to limit your involvement with them moving forward even though it hurts.

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