(Closed) Parents disapproval over engagement

posted 5 years ago in Family
Post # 3
Member
1579 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2013 - Country Club

Wow, eerily similiar to us. My FI is named Brandon and our anniversary is also December 4th (although it’ll be our 3rd anniversary).

 

Anyways, I think that even if he didn’t ask your parents for permission, maybe you should have told them before telling the whole world on facebook. I can see where they’d be hurt and upset by that. My FI had always said that he’d ask my dad for permission out of respect for my father, and even if he said no he’d still ask me to marry him. I guess the only thing you guys can do is just apologize to your family and hope they accept.

Post # 5
Member
3462 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

Yeah posting on Facebook was a bad move, no two ways around that.  My sister was hurt to find out about our cousin’s engagement via Facebook and gave her a hard time – I simply can’t imagine letting your *parents* find out that way.  (This is why we waited a month to post on facebook, so important people would find out directly from us and not from a website.  This is also why I think Facebook has taken over too many people’s lives…)

Before you get hurt about them not expressing enough excitement, try to mitigate the damage from how they found out.  (Put yourselves in their shoes, someone calls them up to gush and they have to say “Whaaaat?”  They probably didn’t like feeling ridiculous and on the spot, in addition to super hurt that you didn’t want to tell them directly yourselves, for lack of trust in their response.)  It’d be bad enough if they just didn’t find out right away.  This isn’t a “do over” situation either that you can really make up.

So apologize to them.  Sincerely.  More than once.  And accept that they are hurt, give them time to be happy.

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