(Closed) Parents divorce while planning a wedding…advice?

posted 6 years ago in Family
Post # 3
Member
205 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: March 2013

I have never gone through something like this before, but am totally sorry you have to deal with other people’s dramatic outburts for your wedding. I say, if she’s any type of classy person, should would just quietly not show up to the wedding. I don’t think you need to say anything to your guests or change your invitations. Your guests will have the decency to not ask if they don’t see her at your wedding. If worse comes to worse and she just doesn’t get the point, I think it would only be approrpiate for your future Father-In-Law or you fiance to mention it to her that she shouldn’t come to the wedding. 

Post # 5
Member
9139 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 2013 - St. Augustine Beach, FL

Family Meeting time.  You need to meet with the key members of the family (not her) and discuss how to handle this.  If FOG is 100% going through with the divorce and the stepmom is going to be totally out of the picture (i.e. nobody is planning to maintain a relationship with her and she doesn’t have kids with FOG), then you need to do something to let her know that she is not welcome at the wedding.

I would send her a very polite note explaining that unfortunately in light of the divorce, she is not invited to the wedding or any of the wedding events.  I would also make it clear in that note that you would prefer that she respect your wishes and that if she decides to show up at anything (in a nonthreatening manner) she will be escorted off the premises.  I would contact the local police department and your facility vendors prior to the event to find out what you can do to keep her off the properties during your wedding events (ask about having her trepassed); put a plan in place so that it’s a quick phone call and she’s out of there.  I would also assign someone at each event to deal with the stepmom if she shows up and deal with the police if they have to be called; make sure everyone else is aware that should she show up, you have a plan and a contact person so you and your family/friends don’t have to deal with her or her drama.

There is no need to say anything to the guests.  Only the core family and friends that are on a need to know basis need this information.  Trust me.  The guests that would ask already know what’s going on and you can easily brush them off by responding that she’s just not there and that Uncle Doug is waving you over for a hug (i.e. move on to the next, less nosy guest.)

Sadly, mine is more complicated.  My parents are divorced and remarried and my mother and stepmother don’t get along so we have to have three parents tables.  Now we may even have to have four because my FI’s parents are going through a rough patch and they may not be together when our wedding rolls around.

The topic ‘Parents divorce while planning a wedding…advice?’ is closed to new replies.

Find Amazing Vendors