Post # 17
My parents are divorced…both remarried. Teddy’s parents are divorced…both remarried. I think we both have a more realistic view on life. His parents did a really good job of keeping him out of all the divorce details…MINE DID NOT. We (three of us) were always in the middle of their fights and it was awful. I think because of that I have a lot of anxiety issues and trust issues. Both sides always bad mouthed each other and my father even forced me to lie to my mom sometimes. With that said…I own my own house…car…have a great job with benefits…I just know that if something were to ever happen to us…that I would be financially able to pick myself up. No one goes into a marriage thinking that they will ever get divorced…but from what I have seen time and time again….shit happens.
PS-our guestlist with 4 different families is HUGE. lol.
Post # 18
I feel very fortunate that both our sets of parents are still married, and happy in their marriages. My mom was married once before meeting my dad, and both my brothers are from that marriage, but my dad adopted them when they got married and their bio-dad’s never been in the picture.
Post # 19
My parents are married but FI’s were never married to eachother. His mom did get married and then divorced and his dad is married.
Post # 20
My parents have been married 30 years and I’m not sure about SO’s parents, about the same I believe.
Post # 21
I answered that both of our parents are still married, but really my husband’s mother is widowed. She and my father-in-law (whom I never met) were married when he passed away.
Post # 22
My parents have been married 29 years and FI’s parents have been married 30 years! I am grateful that we were both raised in strong, respectful marriages.
Post # 23
My parents are divorced three times each. They married in high school after getting pregnant with my brother and divorced after ten years of marriage (I was 7). It was a very difficult divorce, which included my mom moving us kids several states away. They each quickly remarried, both of these marriages lasted about four years (I was about 11). They each remarried again a few years later and their third marriages lasted until about five years ago (I was 24). I had a difficult childhood, and didn’t get to see my dad much.
FI’s parents married after college, were married ten years before they had kids, then divorced after 17 years of marriage (he was 7). His dad remarried quickly and divorced after a few years. His dad remarried again about 5 years ago. His mom never remarried. His parents lived in the same area for a while, before work took his dad further away. He moved with his dad at the start of high school. It wasn’t easy, and he had to grow up very quickly.
I don’t think it’s a coincidence that we have waited until 29 to marry. We take it very seriously and really do not want to divorce. It definitely impacts everything. We both had to overcome – and still work to overcome – traits I am sure we developed because of our upbringing. But, I think it has better prepared us for the realities of marriage.
Post # 24
My parents got divorced when I was 19, after 35 years of marriage! My FI´s parents have been married for around 35 years and are still married.
Obviously, my parents´divorce after so many years of marriage was hard to take, but they fought for most of my life growing up, so I can´t say it entirely surprises me. My dad had a bad temper; my mom was emotionally closed off. I think I tend to pick fights with my Fiance over stupid stuff and get mad easily, I don´t know if it as a “test” in a way to see if Fiance will stick with me or what, really. Even though my parents are divorced, it never deterred my desire to get married. If anything, I wanted it more, to have a strong family unit. It has made me doubtful about the fact that any marriage can last and be happy for 50 plus years.
Post # 25
my parents are divorced and have been since i was 13… im not gonna lie… when it happened i thought it was the end of the world, but i have cojme to realize that it was the best thing my mom and dad ever did for me! they have both remarried and are truely happy and enjoying life. i cant even imagine my life if they were still married!!! (trust me its better now!!!) lol
Post # 26
Mine are together. FI’s father passed away four years ago, but they were still married until he passed. His mom is getting remarried in June to her new guy.
Post # 27
My parents are divorced, FI’s parents have been married for over 30 years. The only way it’s really affected our relationship is that it had a huge part in who I picked to be in a relationship with. My parents were very volitile and my dad was abusive towards my mum. I grew up knowing that I never wanted to be in a relationship like that and that I never wanted to end up with a man like my dad. My fella is amazing, we have such a great relationship and my parents divorce never effected how I felt about getting married.
Post # 28
My parents are divorced. My Mom & Dad married very young (18 & 19, respectively). Two years later they were divorced. Mom remarried twice after that, and has divorced twice. Dad remarried once, and is now seperated from my step-mom after 23 years. FH’s Dad passed away when he was 5, and his Mom remarried & divorced once since then. We’re a complex bunch. It hasn’t really effected our relationship, but I learned at an early age what I did & didn’t want in a relationship, thanks to my Mom.
Post # 29
I know what you mean about being caught in the middle. Oh those are GREAT childhood memories. I am glad that you have learned how to take car of yourself outside of marriage. It will always benefit you to be stable like that. I also know how you feel about the HUGE guest list. We have 200 just family members.
What an honor for your son. I’m glad that you are getting married to a wonderful man now!
I feel you! It does change your outlook on marriage. I can’t imagine how difficult that was at 19. It definately makes you want to work harder on your own marriage and attempt to be the best SO you can.
It is refreshing to hear that you ladies have taken in what you see in other marriages and choose to make a difference. Also, that divorce does affect people but not to the harsh degree that you sometimes hear about.
Post # 30
@MsBrooklynA: My dad died when I was 19, but my mother and him were married for 30 years before he died so I would say they would still be married today if he were alive. SO’s parents are divorced and remarried. They spouses that they are with now seem more fitting. I like his step mother way better than his real mother.
SO’s mother was a Stay-At-Home Mom and I curse her for that because he doesn’t know how to clean up after himself. Even though we live together, there have been times where I will do my own laundry, make my own meals, and clean my own dishes. It sends a message to him about his surroundings. His office gets quite dirty if I don’t go in and clean up and he gets quite hungry if I don’t cook dinner. So I think being with me has made him better with those little things. He use to just throw his clothes on the floor NEXT to the hamper because his mom would just pick them up without saying a word. EFF THAT BUDDY! I can take care of a household, but I am not a maid. I have OCD/panic disorder and shit needs to be in order or I freak the eff out on him. So he is getting better with putting his stuff away because he is probably sick of me flipping out and having panic attacks in the bathroom while screaming at him that he’s a dirty boy.
Post # 31
@MsBrooklynA: both of our parents are together. that isn’t to say that in modern times – they likely wouldn’t have stayed together. (neither sets) it is definitely a different era of commitment and effort vs. “being in love and getting married.” it’s definitely instilled in DH and i both a will to work hard through it all: good times and bad — with the exceptions of “beating/cheating”
our parents have both been together over 30 years and have gone through highs and lows — but have come out of it together and more in love than the day they were married. THAT is something that i want to replicate in our marriage.