Post # 1
This is my first post! YAY! I’ll make this as short as I can.
I work as a wedding photographer assistant and I’ve seen tons of weddings. I’m a sucker for the happiness and joy of weddings and i cry even when I barely know them, I always dreamed of when it would be my turn.
I have been with my boyfriend for two years now, living together for one and we plan on getting married for our third yr anniversery. He hasn’t proposed mostly due to money problems but he will be getting money and probably get the ring in January.
We have a budget, set a date, picked our venue, picked our DJ, picked and talked to the wedding party, and I even found my dress which I will be paying the deposit for next week. We have told lots of family members we are planning on getting married.
This week I’ve been picking out music and researching pricing on stuff. It kinda has been hitting me this is all real, this is it. I thought i’d be overjoyed, excited, all dreamy and happy planning my wedding and I’m not. I think maybe when he proposes I’ll get more happy and excited about it but what if I don’t? I love him more than anything and yes, I really do want to marry him, i’ve know since I met him that hes the one. We are very much in love and happy, I just can’t get that crazy happy about the wedding. I’ve been really anxious double thinking every wedding decision I’ve made so far and I am happy in little times here and there about the wedding but this is not what I thought it would be. Today I’ve been especially emotional, my parents are signing paperwork for their divorce and my dad is being a selfish jerk who despite everything he put my mother and us thru he refused to sign without us all present so I have to go over there in a bit.
I’m not the overjoyed bride I thought I’d be and I didnt think their divorce and my wedding planning would be happening around the same time. I feel so anxious and on edge all day. Has anyone gone thru a similar situation? How did you cope? Did getting proposed to and married feel like you thought it would?
Post # 3
Don’t let a divorce sway you from what you want. If you want to marry him, then do it and don’t let your parents divorce stop you from being happy. Think about all the happy years they did have together, try and focus on what you can do to make your relationship last. Not everyone does stay together, but you can give it your best shot. That’s all anyone can do.
Post # 4
Why do you have to be present for your parent’s divorce? That doesn’t even make sense and honestly I would refuse to go and tell your father to grow up.
Post # 5
I am going through something similar right now. My parents are currently in the the middle of a messy divorce, and I totally understand why this may make you feel a little uneasy.
Although it may be very difficult, try to distance yourself from their divorce proceedings and details as much as possible, and try to remember that not every marriage will end like your parent’s did.
Right now, I am focusing on all of the positive things. Try your best to get excited about ALL of the little details… and try to remind yourself how lucky you are to have found ‘The One’ 🙂
Post # 6
I’ve been through it, feel free to msg if you want to talk about it to someone who’s been there.
I coped by walking down the aisle on my own, having a “babysitter” for my dad on the wedding day and a “date” for my mom, and the proposal/engagement/marriage felt great!
Post # 7
@Luayne: Thats exactly how I feel about him. It doesn’t make sense and he is being childish and I did not want to go. It was like his way of pinning everything on me and my brothers asking us well if you want me to sign I will but its on you. It was ridiculous. But my mom really wanted to keep it civil and asked me to be there and try to make things better and she is a wonderful woman and mother who doesn’t ask for much so I did for her sake. She thought maybe if she gives him this one request he would come around and he didn’t even though he promised.
I just want to thank you all so much for your time and words, all of you made me feel so much better and you girls are right. I’m going to try put their stuff aside and focus on my relationship and my wedding.
Post # 8
I understand feeling that way. It’s nice that you want to help your mother out like that.
I’m wondering what you meant by he couldn’t do it just this once? Did he not sign the papers after saying he would if you were all there?
Post # 9
Is it possible that since you’re around weddings all the time, nothing lives up to your expectations? Since you know pretty much everything that’s on trend/in fashion, and you’ve probably seen many beautiful weddings etc. it might be kind of hard to top it?
Parents divorcing is also a huge strain. It happened when I was just a kid, but even for adults it can be difficult.
I think when we proposes you will get a bit more excited.
I guess no matter what, when expectations differ from reality, anxiety is caused. Like if you’ve never been to a place and see it on TV and dream about it, but it’s totally different (even if it’s still good), you’ll feel disappointed.
I also think that wedding planning isn’t rainbows and puppy dogs for ANYONE. It IS stressful. It is expensive. Just because the final result is often glamorous, the process isn’t necessarily easy. If you’re not someone who likes to plan or negotiate, why would it be fun? The way you feel sounds totally normal to me.
I love wedding dress shows like Say Yes to the Dress. I really love anything wedding related. I would never want to have a big wedding myself, though. When it comes down to it, I’d rather elope (and that’s what we’re planning).