(Closed) Parents Friends With His Ex On Facebook: WWYD?

posted 7 years ago in Relationships
Post # 32
Member
3683 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: December 2011

If they can’t be trusted not to blab personal information all over Facebook, they shouldn’t be given that information.  Also, it’s not smart to check in places because then a bunch of people know when you’re not home.

Post # 33
Member
1686 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 2012

I would tell them that if they won’t remove her (god knows why) they can make their profile private for her, so that she can’t see everything OR you will remove yourselves from their FB.  I cannot believe that her crazy ass hurt feelings are more important than your guys’ safety. That’s a joke, and I’d be pissed right off.

Post # 35
Member
12624 posts
Honey Beekeeper

@lovekiss:  I usually find  just the opposite.  Older people are much more aware of privacy issues while younger people are the ones leaving their pages public while   posting vacation dates, real time updates and other posts   that scream “come rob my house.”  

But I agree with pp who said they  need to do a serious edit on the privacy settings, both the OP’s and the parents.  Again, with the threats that have been made, it seems like the tip of the iceberg. 

Post # 36
Member
1451 posts
Bumble bee

@badabing88:  OMG I just read through some of your other comments, and holy crap are you serious?!  Your Boyfriend or Best Friend has a no-contact order on her already?!  This ex-gf is definitely certifiably CRAZY.  In that case girl, you need to forget playing “nice” and it is now Code Red!  If I were you, I would set-up a time for me, Boyfriend or Best Friend, and both in-laws to sit down together and have a conversation.  I would tell them exactly what you and Boyfriend or Best Friend wants (cut off contact, do not give out info about you & Boyfriend or Best Friend, etc.), tell them what you guys are planning to do (i.e. restraining order), and that if your in-laws cannot respect and go along with your (you & BF) request, tell them what you both will do (unfriend them on Facebook, or set your privacy settings super high so your in-laws have very limited access to what they can view, or offer to help them de-friend her, etc.), and I’d also throw in there for good measure, how YOU personally feel about this whole thing and how their behavior is affecting you (i.e. keeping in contact w/ a crazy ex).

Most importantly, I would really encourage your Boyfriend or Best Friend to “lay down the law” with his parents.  He needs to have a serious heart-to-heart conversation with them and really let them know that YOU are his woman, someone he is going to spend the rest of his life with, and as parents please respect and stand-up for my woman who will one-day become their daughter as well, and if they just can’t respect or do as he asks about this crazy ex, than they need to understand the “restrictions” and strong boundaries he is going to have to place with them because his first duty is to YOU and protecting your relationship.  If he has a fairly good relationship with his parents, only HE can give them the wake-up call they need and for them to realize that he’s a grown man now about to start a new family, and that YOU are his #1 priority now, and no one/nothing else comes before that.

 

Post # 38
Member
858 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2018

Honestly I would probably tell them that if they continue posting about all these things knowing she sees them and goes all creepy I’ll lose contact with them.  I understand being friends with the ex during normal situations but the woman is crazy.  I would be personally offened if I knew his family knew all the stalker things she does but won’t do something simple like delete her on facebook.

 

Post # 40
Member
12624 posts
Honey Beekeeper

The grandparents are afraid they will lose contact with the grandchildren.  That is understandable, but it doesn’t mean they have to be an open book to her. Meanwhile, I would document everything this woman says.  Record every phone call* and save anything in writing.  I would report any violation of the no contact order, kids or no kids. 

ETA you need to check for the legalities in your state.

 

Post # 41
Member
10713 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2012

I have this same situation but the other way around. It’s my ex who shows up to places we are, who has tried to break my husband and I up, who is friends with all of my siblings. I can’t just remove my siblings and I’ve asked them to remove him but for some reason they never did. At this point 3 years later and still dealing with this crap I just ignore it and him and he has lost a lot of interest since it’s no longer bothering us. 

Post # 42
Member
1475 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

@badabing88:  wow, yes – I think you and fiance are completely right to say that.

Post # 43
Member
1451 posts
Bumble bee

@badabing88:  You go girl!  It sounds like you and your Boyfriend or Best Friend are doing all the right things and are well on your way to establishing boundaries and helping your in-laws re-adjust their ties to this crazy ex.  

*High Five!* you got this!  🙂

Post # 44
Member
1326 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

@badabing88:  You and your boyfriend should just block the ex-wife on facebook. she won’t be able to see your name anywhere, period.

Also, it’s not that surprising to me that your boyfriend’s parents don’t want to alienate the mother of their grandchildren. 

 

Post # 46
Member
594 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 1993

@badabing88:  don’t tell them what you are doing.  When thet realize this you can explain why.  

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