(Closed) Parents Friends With His Ex On Facebook: WWYD?

posted 7 years ago in Relationships
Post # 77
7430 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: February 2013

I think your options sound good. My DH’s mom (who I’ve never met because he isn’t talking to her because of her relationship with his ex-FI) and his SIL are friends with his ex-FI on Facebook and in real life. It really bothers me, and if we’re going to have a relationship with them in the future, I don’t think they should have a relationship with her. I feel like she will have access to way too much knowledge of our lives. Besides, Darling Husband broke up with her, why would she still want to be friends with his family? Basically, I get where you’re coming from.

Post # 78
1796 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

Didn’t have time to read all the responses, sorry. If his ex is stalking and threatening you guys, then the problem isn’t Facebook, it’s the ex. You really need to pursue getting a restraining order as soon as possible. Removing her access to information about you on Facebook could cause her behavior to escalate to a dangerous level. I’m betting that’s the reason his parents don’t want to unfriend her

Post # 79
2440 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

Though, sadly, even if you remove yourselves form facebook, your fi still needs to talk with them about sharing your personal information. They cannot be allowed to write a post concerning you two- ever. They are not trustworthy with it.

Post # 80
1460 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

@badabing88:  I’m sorry…I misunderstood.  He needs to block his parents then and tell them to stop posting every time he burps and farts.  Why do they insist on posting their son’s comings and goings.  I wouldn’t tell them anything I did until they quit doing this.  They’re perpetuating a situation that doesn’t need it.

Post # 81
858 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2018


Sorry but unless she was already crazy or at her breaking point for really good reasons I don’t consider that a good reason for her to be bonkers.  If someone doesn’t want to marry you than get mad or sad but eventually it’s time to be an adult especially if there are children.

Post # 82
3771 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

I haven’t read too many of the responses….but I’m fairly positive that if you block someone on fb there is no way they can see any of your actions/photos even your profile page. The reason I say that.. is I may or may not have been blocked by an ex at one point because he was a jackass… and may or may not be currently blocked by someone who I thought was my friend. 

Post # 83
323 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 1999



I read the subject line and thought your story was similar to mine…But it’s not al that similar….


It’s my parents, with my ex Fiance (we broke off our engagement over very bad circumstances…he’s messed up). He goes over to their house, has spent holidays with them (when I was living out of town), they talk often, he brings his prospective GFs over to ‘meet the parents’, he looks for their approval, they have set him up with people…these girls have also gotten ahold of my number to ask for advice and try to befriends mewant to go shopping together…copy my hair color and style weekly…would show up at my parents home without him as though shes hanging out with his parents all buddy buddy….


throughout all this he still expressed interest in me, even when I was engaged to my now husband he  tried bringing me in close to him and told me “It’s hard for me to see you with someone else, I still think of you as mine.” to which I responded something along the lines of I’m not your property or his (my fiance at the time), but you should get used to it…mind you it had been nearly 4-5years after our break up….


It’s now been 9 years since we broke off our engagement…he still shows up at my parents house…They won’t get rid of him, referring to him as family saying it’s not that easy…Mind blown yet?


Here’s the best part, my parents are our neighbours.






Post # 84
323 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

I’m so sorry I didn’t mean to hijack.

I’m sorry this is happening to you. I feel for you. I don’t know why some people have such a difficult time cutting the cord, especially since it isn’t their child/family.

Hopefully they’ll will eventually realize they should (IMO) out of repect to you and your Fiance.

Hope that you anf you Fiance have her blocked on FB.

Good luck.

Post # 85
4655 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

@badabing88:  I’d do exactly what you suggested – tell them you aren’t comfortable with her getting info about you guys, and that either they have to disconnect from her or you’ll disconnect from them to make sure there’s no avenue of information flow. Explain that it’s nothing personal against them, just something you have to do to be comfortable, and they’re welcome to email or call any time to chat and be social if they can’t do it there.

Post # 86
4429 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: April 2014

@badabing88:  OMG!! iam so sorry your going thru this. i would def remove his parents from my facebook. i would feel so nervous/violated about her checking in on our lives. i think i have seen snapped too much who knows what this woman is capable of doing she sounds crazy. she needs to get a life and move on. how long have they been broken up for?

Post # 87
3370 posts
Sugar bee

@badabing88:  That is weird. You can make your FB so only “friends” can view your info, but I think there is a way around that if the parents comment on something on your page their “friends” can see it too. But I’m not 100% on that. As far as them tagging you at check-ins, I don’t think there’s any privacy setting you can change to stop that. My Fiance changed his tagging to “ask permission” because this one guy would tag him 100 times all freaking night long and I was sick of hearing his phone ding. But that didn’t stop the other person from tagging him, it only stopped it from showing up on his Timeline until he approved it. I would say that you would have the right to tell the parents that if they don’t remove her you will remove them because that girl is nuts and has some serious issues.

Also, if she has made a direct threat to harm you you need to immediately call the police (not now, at the time that she says it) and get that on record. Even saying she wants to kill you without having a weapon or attempting to do anything is still considered “Terroristic Threats”. Unfortunately when it comes to the courts they really don’t care what the person did before they broke into your house and tied you up if you never reported it. So if you don’t report it now and something does happen in the future it will look like a small one time thing.

What is the custody situation? If you have court ordered custody she cannot stop the grandparents from seeing the kids because you guys will let them see the kids. If he doesn’t have a court order he needs one or she could legally move to Bora Bora and he’d never see them again. That would not be kidnapping unless there’s a court order. 

It is also possible for you guys to just delete your FB.

ETA: Since she is already “blocked” and still showing up it’s not that your name is coming up. She’s just assuming because the parents are “checking-in” that you’re there too. Really, start writing stuff down and call the police every time she makes a verbal or written threat. If you still have that text show it to them. I have my ex blocked on FB. I changed my number. He has threatened me more than once. He has also threatened every friend and date I’ve had since we broke up. He was arrested for “Terroristic Threats”. Trust me when I say, not reporting things will not help you in the end.

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