(Closed) Parents Hate Each Other

posted 7 years ago in Family
Post # 3
Member
1927 posts
Buzzing bee

I would skip the whole awkward situation and only announce the bridal party.

Post # 4
Member
708 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: January 2011

We have a simialr problem. My Fiance parents haven’t spoken in 20 years, and they are not going to start at the wedding. For intros, we are not doing parents. Just the bridal party and bride and groom.

Post # 5
Member
5993 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2010

i think you need to flat out tell them what you expect of them on the day

tell they all they have to do is share the same air and room and smile – they dont have to dance with eachother, speak to eachother but they have to at least put your happiness first and accept that the other exists for the duration of your wedding – this way there is no misunderstanding

goodluck!

Post # 7
Member
1161 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2011

My situation is not terribly dissimilar to yours. 

I’m having assigned seating for this very reason.  My dad and stepmom will be at a table with his side of the family, and on the other side of the room my mom and stepdad will sit with one of their friends and some other random people.  I’ll take pictures with dad’s side of the family before the ceremony, and pictures with mom’s side AFTER the ceremony. 

And, I’d totally skip the parent intros. 

Post # 8
Member
2397 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2010

We had a very similar issue.  My husband’s parents are divorced and they legit hate each other.  It’s a very awkward situation to deal with, so I feel for you.

We did the introduction with his mom being introduced with my parents (they know each other pretty well).  That way, she didn’t feel alone walking in since she’s not remarried.  Doing that also helped to keep them apart.

Post # 9
Member
6893 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: March 2012

Why is Fiance so intent on having his parents introduced?…Just wondering. Do a lot of people not know who his parents are or something? Are Future In-Laws pushing it?

We aren’t going to do it at all because we both have divorced and remarried parents and it would be complicated. We figure if anyone doesn’t know who someone is (which is unlikely as our wedding isn’t terribly big) then they can just ask.

Post # 10
Member
4137 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

tell them they need to act like adults on your wedding day. if your mom is an alcoholic, assign a “babysitter” to keep an eye on her and control her drink flow throughout the night.

Post # 11
Member
572 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 1969

I’d skip it too…that was one of many things we skipped because of DH’s mother.

If you must, tell them to act like adults, it will only last 5 seconds, they do not have to talk to each other or walk arm in arm.  How do they plan on handling the seating at the ceremony?  If they have an issue with it or try to start a fight with each other, they will be escorted out.  What if you announced them seperately and had one walk in then the other? 

Post # 12
Member
572 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 1969

double post…bee get it together, please!

Post # 13
Member
3671 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: March 2011

I’m pretty much in the same situation with just slight differences.  My dad however is not coming to the reception because he “doesn’t feel welcome”.  I agree that they should act like adults but I know that that really won’t happen.  So I say skip the introductions.  Or maybe announce your mom, then your fiance’s parents, then your dad and stepmom to put some space between them?

Post # 14
Member
5118 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

Are you talking about introducing them with the bridal party or thanking them during speeches?

I think you could address them as ‘our families’ and ask them to all stand up (unless Fiance really wants it by name for his folks, then you’d probably do the same). Or you could thank FI’s family, naming his parents and thanking his sibs, and then thank your family starting with one parent/spouse, naming sibs, and naming the other parent/spouse.

 

Post # 15
Member
2385 posts
Buzzing bee

Can you (or hve you?) asked them what they would like to do?

Post # 16
Member
89 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: April 1999

@eloping:Totally agree with you! My Mom and Dad don’t like each other much. And they managed to be fairly civil during my sister’s wedding. They were just told ahead of time to suck it up and be nice or get out.

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