Parents in Law

posted 3 years ago in Emotional
Post # 2
1312 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2019

Have you told your partner how you feel?

There’s a lot that we think goes without saying that sometimes need to be said.  My fiance comes from a very family-centric culture, and his extended family spend a TON of time together.  When we first started dating, he thought I was having the time of my life hanging out with his parents, siblings, cousins, aunts and uncles.  They’re fun people – I must be really enjoying myself!  I had to explain the cultural differences and we learned to compromise.

Is it possible that your partner thinks you consider meals out with his parents a form of “date night”?

Post # 3
2463 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2015 - St Peter\'s Church, East Maitland, and Bella Vista, Newcastle

Not overreacting. I love my parents-in-law but that would be too much time for me.  I agree with PP though, have you told your husband how you feel?

Post # 4
544 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2017

My husbands family are all in town and very close. We used to have stretches like that, but I finally had to have a little chat with him. We now see them less, and sometimes he sees them all by himself. Just have the conversation- and I find date nights happen most assuredly when I schedule them! Good luck! 

Post # 5
1022 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

This is a husband problem not an in law problem

Post # 6
5972 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: June 2013

Overreacting how? Because you’re a annoyed? Because you said something? There isn’t a lot to go on with your post.

I do agree that’s a lot of time to spend with anyone (I’m a home body lol) but I make my needs/wants known to my husband so this likely wouldn’t happen. Have  you brought it up to your husband? If you haven’t, he might not realize there is an issue.

Post # 7
7229 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2016

I would tell my husband “Dude- If I wanted to date your mom, I would have given her my number the first night we met and kicked you to the curb.”

What the hell? I used to live with my inlaws and didn’t spend as much time with them as you just listed. Have you spoken with your husband about this?

Post # 8
2312 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: March 2019

It’s totally fine to be over it, I would be as well. But you need to speak to your husband. Tell him how you feel and how it’s too much time for you and doubly frustrating that they take up days that you two could have a date night. Start putting some limits on the time you spend with your IL’s

Post # 9
2322 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2018

View original reply
hellohello101 :  I wouldn’t even want to hang out with my own parent that much, and we’re really close.

I would be completely honest with my husband and tell him I think we’re spending way too much time with them, and need to have some time to ourselves and perhaps establish some boundaries with his parents since they may consider this to be “normal”…

Post # 10
401 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: March 2019

Is it always like this or is this month something special? I mean, this is really a lot, but sometimes because of holidays etc. or a lot of birthdays it can be the case sometimes. Otherwise, I suggest what the others said: talk to your husband about it. We used to visit his parents every sunday and while I really like his family, during this two years, I worked 6 days a week, so we didn’t have time to do something else. My husband just went along with it, but when I told him, that I don’t want to hang out with them on my only free day, he totally understood and from then on we first looked at our plans before just going there. Luckily, his parents are ok with it and don’t insist, so we would just tell them, that we have a lot of other things to do and it’s ok with them.

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