(Closed) Parents inviting their friends

posted 6 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
7174 posts
Busy Beekeeper

Who is paying for the wedding and how did you decide to split the guest list (ie: are you giving either parent any invites).

I can understand why parents want to invite certain friends (even though you’ve never met them).  These people have likely watched your Fiance grow up and have been part of his life.  They love him and his family (and now you) and want to celebrate the occassion.

It’s fine to want a smaller wedding vs. a larger one – but you and Fiance should be on the same page – as should whomever is footing the bill.

Post # 5
Member
2831 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

It’s a celebration for the parents too, they should be able to invite their friends also. I would say that if you will have to cut out family then there should be a conversation about it.

Post # 6
Member
1361 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

Most of the time, when people split up lists, it’s not just between the people getting married but also between the parents.  I think traditionally it’s 1/3 to the parents of the bride, 1/3 to the parents of the groom, 1/3 to the couple.  Whoever is paying should get more guests.  Our list is about 25% my parents, 15% his parents, and 60% us.

Post # 7
Member
1071 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

My in laws are inviting a bunch of family and friends that I have never met but it is fine with me because they are paying.  We are splitting the food costs according to the number of guests each group invited.  Since his family is inviting more people they will pay for more food

Post # 8
Member
174 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

We are having a small wedding ( 80 people). My parents are paying for the reception so they have invited 4 couples, however all these couples were very close with me growing up. My FI’s parents ( who are not paying for anything) will not have any friends…just family.

Post # 9
Member
9142 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 2013 - St. Augustine Beach, FL

We’re paying so we have control over the guest list.  Simple rule we’re using?  We each get immediate family (parents, grandparents, siblings) then the rest have to be people we have both met at some point during our relationship (this includes parents’ friends, they have to have met both me and my fiance prior to hearing about the wedding.)  We’re only having 50-75 guests though.

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