(Closed) Parents inviting their friends

posted 10 years ago in Family
Post # 17
Member
792 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

Bella Luna- I don’t know if this is an option for you, but maybe you could ask your parents to not invite thier friends/families kids that are young.
My Faince and I are trying to have a small wedding, and we have lots of family. 64 people all together. So we are not inviting children 12 and under unless that family is from out of state or a far away town. You could explore this option too.

Post # 18
Member
1080 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2010

my parents also had a hard time with having to restrict the amount of friends they could invite. It def helped that our reception venue can only hold 200 people max, so they had to make some choices. Before we had the venue they were trying to invite some many people that my Fiance and I couldn’t even fit our friends on our wedding list.

Post # 19
Member
3 posts
Wannabee
  • Wedding: July 2009

My groom’s side of the family had twice as many guests as my side, partially becuase of the size of thier family and partially because of how many friends his mom wanted there.  In the end, it all worked out, but it did cause a good amount of stress as I worried about whether or not everyone would fit in the venue.  What I should have done initially is given his mom a number to work with (like 10 or 20) and made exceptions as we figured out who was coming or not coming.

Post # 20
Member
5495 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: September 2010

We’re not. My Future Sister-In-Law invited almost 300 to her wedding, after their parent’s request. Only about half of them showed. We haven’t talked about our guest list, but it will probably be similar.

The way I see it, they’re the ones paying for all the food, and if they want to feed their friends, they can. I guess it also helps that we know most of the people. lol.

Post # 21
Member
439 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2009

I don’t know what I would have done if I’d had to deal with parents wanting to invite a bazillion friends… elope probably! We’re very fortunate that there are only 2 or 3 couples of friends on each side, and their ones we both have known growing up.

Post # 22
Member
144 posts
Blushing bee

It’s very traditional for parents to invite their friends.  It’s part of how parents help their children become more involved and connected to the adult world.

My friend was ticked when her parents took over around 30% of the guest list. 

But when the governor and several other hugely influential people showed up to the wedding, she and Darling Husband understood why her parents invited them – they just wanted to help my friend and her new lawyer Darling Husband to get a leg up on having a happy and successful life from the beginning.

Post # 23
Member
124 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: March 2010

Yeah, I’ve always heard that 1/3 is hosting parent’s friends, 1/3 is fiance’s family and friends, 1/3 is bride’s family and friends. Of course this assumes one pair of parents is paying which may not be the case.

Post # 24
Member
1 posts
Wannabee

Mi Fi and I have run into this problem as well. My parents are divorced. My mom has been very reasonable and invited only her best friend. His parents also have only invited a couple friends. My Dad and step mom sent me a list with over 80 friends!!!! 80!! That makes their list 130 people to a 200 person wedding!!! We are in a battle right now. I dont understand how they can possibly argue with me about this. I hadnt had any drama at all up until this point. Its sooooo stressful! And whats worse is they are trying to make me feel bad! I even offered to send the extra people announcements (on my dime). They arent sponsering the wedding either.

Post # 24
Member
1 posts
Wannabee
  • Wedding: December 2017

million :  We are paying for the entire wedding ourselves.  My parents have formally proclaimed that they want nothing to do with it – even though they love my Fiance – it’s just not their thing.  I have never asked them for any help and don’t intend to   As a gesture of courtsey, I offered to invite a group of their friends who have also been a part of my life.  After that, my parents have added to the list… as if they don’t realize that it’s a $100 per person expense for us.  Their list isn’t huge, so I’m ok with it for now (as long as it doesn’t keep growing) but what kills me is that they expect it and have made no effort to say thanks or acknowledge the fact that this is a huge planning effort and expense for us.  My sister even told me that when I was not there, my dad made the expression “UGH.. the wedding” and then rolled his eyes.   Further, while we are still 6 months out, My mom is all over me to finalize hotel room blocks and get the invitations out the door so that her friends won’t be inconvenienced by last minute planning — never once offering to assist me, just making the demands. Part of me thinks it’s funny that they are so clueless…. another part of me is really hurt. 

Post # 25
Member
2356 posts
Buzzing bee

million :  My mother invited a few of her friends, but I know them all and have worked with them in the past. My father is inviting his friends and while I know some of them I don’t know all and I put my foot down because he wan’ted to invited 16 people. I said nope. You have 10 figure it out. Then I bluntly told him he isn’t paying so its not going to happen. He then said he would pay for them.

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