(Closed) Parents meet for the first time over lunch: Who Pays?

posted 6 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
21 posts
Newbee

I would suggest that you and Fiance pay for the meal.

Post # 4
Member
1243 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 2010

@Miss Mochaccino:  Remove both parents’ set of circumstances and the stress from the event by paying yourself.  I know that kind of sucks, but that way no one feels put out.

If someone else offers to pay, decline gently, and if they insist, let them do it.

Post # 5
Member
3697 posts
Sugar bee

I think, given the international circumstances (which mean there are probably cultural differences) this is definitely a question for Fiance and probably only Fiance. Anything we Bees can tell you will reflect our own cultural contexts and not whatever the context is here.

Post # 6
Member
5657 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: February 2012

Who arranged this lunch? The host(s) should pay.

Post # 7
Member
3375 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

you and your Fiance should pay. Or whomever invited.

Post # 8
Member
1061 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 2011

I would go prepared to pay for the whole meal, if you can.  I know my dad would insist on picking up the tab, just because that’s how is, but I would be ready.

Post # 9
Member
331 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

Why not have you pay for Fiance and yourself, and let both sets of parents pay for themselves…

 

“Go dutch” if you will

Post # 10
Member
12976 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

I think whoever hosts the event, or whoever invited the parties to lunch, should be paying.

Post # 11
Member
1278 posts
Bumble bee

@KCKnd2:  +1 on this!  

If it were me, I would be prepared to pay for everyone, but I could easily see both sets of parents insisit on paying, so we would all end up buying our own.

Post # 12
Member
741 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

This is just me…But I’d entertain at home under the circumstances. It’s more inviting (and probably cheaper…). 

Post # 13
Member
5273 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2009

I would think each couple (set of parents) would pay for their own meals – I think it would be really weird to think otherwise…

Post # 14
Member
878 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

Here’s how it usually goes for me:

guest 1: I’ll pay!

guest 2: no let me pay!

guest 3: No I insist!

 

If no one puts forth this usual conversation, then politely and quietly tell the server that there are 3 parties and that all the couples would like to pay separately.

It sounds like you chose a place that is affordable, that’s great. Don’t get anything extravagant (alcoholic beverages, lots of apps, dessert) just order what you can afford.

Post # 15
Member
871 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

You should pay. We went to dinner with my parents and FI’s parents and Fiance grabbed the bill before either set of parents could. Just because your parents are paying for the wedding that doesn’t mean FI’s parents have to pay for lunch.

Post # 16
Member
3357 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

when my parents met his, we paid 🙂

The topic ‘Parents meet for the first time over lunch: Who Pays?’ is closed to new replies.

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