Post # 1
I’m recently engaged (September) and have been trying to get both my and my FI’s parents together since then. We’re going to dinner tonight to celebrate my birthday and I figured it was a good a time as ever for them to meet.
I’m just a little worried about keeping the conversationg going throughout the night and generally avoiding any akwardness or anything. FI’s dad isn’t talkative and is hard to understand sometimes because he suffered from a stroke.
It doesn’t help that my mom just let me know she was nervous about the meeting and asked if there were any taboo subjects to stay away from. I don’t think so but I just want everything to go well.
Does anyone have any advice on parents meeting each other? How did it go when you and FI’s parents met?
EDITED: I’m sorry I’m new and I posted this to the wrong section of the boards, so sorry if you are seeing it again here.
Post # 3
@adorkable: Hey welcome to the bee! Next time, you can just ask the moderators to move it and they will :-). That way it doesn’t get posted twice. In regards to family, it will always be a little awkward at first. But, I think it will gradually become more comfortable, as everyone has mutual interests (their loved one). While I cannot make any guarantees, I will wish you the best of luck with this and will keep positive thoughts for you :-).
Post # 4
Our parents knew each other before we were even a couple! Our high school wasn’t that big and our parents knew each other because of that. And, because Darling Husband and my brother were teammates and friends, my parents would see DH’s parents at games. I was lucky in that regard.
Good luck to you!
Post # 5
One thing that I did when our parents met was to have some topics of conversation in my back pocket that I could bring out if things got weird. For example, if your parents have been on a trip recently and you know that your FH’s parents like traveling, you could bring something up about their trip. It can be tricky to make it seem like the conversation isn’t canned, but it can be done!
If all else fails, you can talk about the upcoming wedding. 🙂
I’m sure it will go well. If you and your FH do your best to be relaxed, I’m sure that both sets of parents will follow suit.
Post # 6
Our parents have known each other since we first started dating (5 1/2 years ago). My parents have a big Christmas party every year and FI’s whole family comes (his brother and SIL included). His family has a family reunion in the fall and my parents attend (its really more of a party than a reunion since lots of friends are invited). Everyone gets along great. They even get together a few times a year for dinner (without us).
The only advice I can give you is to steer clear of sensitive topics (religion, politics, etc…) so that way you don’t run of chance of them getting into an argument if certain parties have conflicting views.
Post # 7
We did the same thing. Our parents had never met so they both flew to NYC (from CA and TX) for Fiance graduation. Fiance was not nervous at all but I was a wreck so before the met, I set with Fiance and we came up with a list of 5 topic changers that we thought were “safe” and fill the silence (ie golf, Fiance job, school, etc). In the end, there was no awkwardness but it made me feel a lot better going into it!
Post # 8
Thank you all for your feedback and postive attitudes. I’m about to leave work to get ready for dinner . If all else fails, at least we are eating at my favorite Indian restaurant. 🙂
Post # 9
@adorkable: It is also good that you picked a location where you are comfortable. I am always more relaxed in places I am comfortable in and know well. Best of luck! Please let us know how it goes :-).
Post # 10
Hi again everyone,
Just wanted to give you all an update on how the night went. I’m happy to report that it went well. No awkward moments until the end of the night.
My FIs parents were supposed to take me out to dinner for my birthday to begin with and I asked if we could make it into everyone meeting. I talked to my Fiance to make sure that they knew they didn’t have to pay for my parents and I thought everything was fine until the bill was presented and his mom insisted that she pay for it. After a brief back and forth, my dad asked to at least take care of the tip.
The meal wasn’t super expensive, but it still made me uncomfortable. My Fiance justified it by saying that it was under X amount so it wasn’t a big deal, but I was just upset that she didn’t stick by what she said she was going to do.