(Closed) Parents meeting for the first time

posted 9 years ago in Family
  • poll: Where shoul my parents and future in-laws meet first?
    my parents' house : (6 votes)
    11 %
    his parents' apartment : (1 votes)
    2 %
    dinner out at a restaurant : (43 votes)
    78 %
    Other, please explain : (5 votes)
    9 %
  • Post # 3
    2561 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: July 2010

    Just had a similar situation, we took them out to a fun Japanese/Korean BBQ restaurant that we love. It was good, because no one was in "enemy territory" LOL

    Post # 4
    5494 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: August 2011

    I wouldn’t put pressure on either set of parents to host the others.  It puts a lot of presure on trying to impress and make sure everything is perfect.  The only problem I forsee with a restaurant is when the bills comes and both sets of parents trying to pay the entire thing and going back and forth on that.  I guess that’s something to figure out before hand by telling FI’s parents that your parents would like to take them out to dinner.  No bill fighting there.

    Post # 5
    159 posts
    Blushing bee

    is there something interactive that everyone could do together?  when the families met we all went to a brewery tour.  gave everyone something easy to talk to and some booze to drink.  win win!  otherwise a teppan grill or korean bbq would be good.  lots going on to focus on besides each other.

    Post # 6
    889 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: August 2010

    my Fiance and I have been together for 4 years and have lived in 3 different countries (3 different continents) since we met.  My mom met his parents 4 years ago when they were all visiting us in South Africa about 3 months after we met… my little brother was in high school still, so my Dad stayed hom.  So, our parents have sort of met… did I mention that his parents live in London and mine in MI and we are in DC? 

     Anyway, we’re planning on having them all come to DC in December for a few days to get to know each other, so that they don’t meet next summer at our wedding… which would be really stressful for us.  

    But good luck… I would just say, to be open to whatever your parents & your Fiance parents are most comfortable.  If your parents want to host a dinner at your house- do that, but if neither is really adament about hosting the event, I think going to you & your fi’s favorite restaurant would be a great suggestion.

    Post # 8
    908 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: June 2009

    If your mom wants to invite them over then I thinks thats the best place to do it.  It avoids the "who pays?" question at the restaurant and your mom clearly wants to host them.

    Post # 9
    1220 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: November 2009

    We hosted it at our house and it was a distasterous mess.  Long story.  I would still have it at a restaurant.  Maybe a smaller one?  Do what feels right to you, not really what your mom is pushing you to do. 

    Post # 10
    2365 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: October 2009

    My parents, his parents, fiance and I all had an early evening dinner at a casual restaurant that was easy for both of our parents. 

    It went sooo well and I wouldn’t change it for anything!

    Post # 12
    2476 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: June 2010

    Our parents just met for the first time a week ago, and we had dinner at a restaurant that Fiance and I love (Thai food, YUMMY).  Fiance pretended to go to the restroom towards the end of dinner and sneakily paid the bill (so our parents wouldn’t argue about who pays).  Their first meeting went really well and I’m happy for the way it turned out.  I think a restaurant is a nice, neutral place for their first meeting. Also, no one has to frantically clean their house and stress about making food and hosting a dinner party.  This way, everyone was more relaxed and able to enjoy each others’ company. 

    Post # 13
    49 posts
    • Wedding: August 2009

    Our parents met at a restaurant.  He arrived with his parents, then I arrived with mine (just how the traffic worked out).  It was a nice, quiet restaurant, so there was no shouting to hear each other (a big pet peeve for the dads!); it was a round table so everyone was equally spaced out.  We told our parents beforehand that WE were taking them out to dinner.  They were all nervous before the dinner (especially the dads who both got new outfits!) but got along swimmingly – dinner was a success.

    Meeting at an apartment beforehand just seems like added stress!  You’ll have to clean; have wine/beverages ready to serve… then, what, hang out for half an hour before having a 2 hour dinner?

    Your mom just sounds really nervous, which is cute, because that means she wants to make a good impression.  Maybe try to calm her nerves by telling her that your fiance’s mom is also nervous, but that everyone should relax as it’ll be a casual and comfortable dinner/restaurant.

    Post # 14
    4480 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: March 2010 - Calamigos Ranch

    Restaurants are easiest. That’s what they mean by neutral territory: your house/his house/your parents’ house/his parents’ house all give someone the upper hand. A restaurant (preferably with a cuisine that isn’t going to surprise anybody) is the safest route if you think there will be any awkwardness or anything uncomfortable ;).

    Post # 15
    487 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: March 2009 - Byodo-In Temple, Luau Reception

    Neutral territory is best.

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