Post # 1
My FI and I are paying for the majority of the wedding, with some help from his parents. My dad got laid-off a couple of years ago and it’s been pretty rough for my family, so while they are involved with the wedding planning and are supportive, they will not be able to contribute financially. I know that traditionally the parents hosting the wedding are listed on the invitation, but here are my issues:
It would feel weird to put my FI’s parents on the invites and not mine, even if they are giving us money and my parents aren’t
I don’t want to exclude parents names all-together since both sets of our parents are important to us
I don’t want FI’s parents to feel under-appreciated if we include my parents too even though they aren’t helping (I don’t really think this is going to happen though)
What does everyone else think? Any ideas on how to word the invites? Thank-you!
Post # 3
You could always do:
Together with their families
invite you to…
Post # 4
@Excited To Bee: both our sets of parents contributed but this is exactly what I did and would suggest for the op.
Post # 5
I have one set of parents giving about 75% of the money, another set giving a smaller amount, and one giving a very small amount towards the rehearsal dinner. We appreciate them all equally.
We chose to do “Together with their families, Nicole Avery & Matthew Polk…”
Post # 6
The above suggestions are good. If you’re heartset on having the names, you could also do…
together with their parents,
Mr. and Mrs. Bride
and Mr. and Mrs. Groom,
invite you to…
Post # 7
@mrs_brownie: FI and I are paying for our wedding and our parents have chipped in by getting us some items we need (i.e., my parents payed for my dress). FI and I knew we wanted to honor our parents on our invites regardless if they pitched in more or none at all. My mom got pretty emotional when she saw her name and my dad’s name on the invite because she knows traditionally, it should be whoever is paying. FI and I aren’t traditional and we did what felt right to us.
It’s a personal choice so you can just add both sets of parents or to what the other bees have suggested.
Post # 8
@Excited To Bee: I love this. I feel like even if they paid very little, but are very involved in the whole thing, to do this out of respect 🙂
Post # 9
@msfuturea: Same here. We paid for about 90% of the wedding ourselves, but we wanted to honor our parents by including their names on the invitations. They were really touched that we did.
Post # 10
My parents are contributing about 25% of the budget and we are footing the rest of the bill, FI’s family is not in the financial position to contribute and we are ok with that. We have a long time before invites but plan on putting
Together with their parents
Post # 11
Hosting doesn’t (always) = Paying For
The host and hostess are responsible for making sure all the guests are comfortable. They ensure that Aunt Gertrude won’t be exposed to any other guests she may find objectionable (because they know the guests and won’t invite objectionable folks!) and they make sure that Uncle Bob is quietly escorted to a cab when he gets tipsy and starts to cause a scene.
But money is never discussed in polite company, so it’s wrong to “assume” who is paying for a wedding (or ather event) based on the names listed as host & hostess. In fact, it’s rude to speculate about the cost of the wedding or the sponsor at all.
If you’ve always imagined that your wedding invitations would be traditional, it isn’t wrong to word them traditionally “Mr. and Mrs. Bride’s Parents/request the honor of your presence/at the wedding of /Bride Middle/to/Groom Middle/ son of Mr. and Mrs. Groom’s Parents…” (with the “son of… ” being an optional way to clarify who your FI is and mentioning his parents.)
If you don’t have a strong opinion about traditional wording, (or proper hosting etiquette – since traditionally there should only be one hostess & possibly her husband, and an unmarried couple cannot co-host an event) then you may choose to word the invitation along the lines of:
Together with our parents/Mr. & Mrs. Bride’s Parents/and/Mr. & Mrs. Groom’s Parents/we/Bride Middle and Groom Middle/invite you……