(Closed) Parents Names on Invites

posted 9 years ago in Paper
Post # 3
267 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2010 - Jewel Box in Forest Park and Windows on Washington

I’d do some etiquette searches.  Try Emily Post’s wedding etiquette site.  She offers many variations.

As you mention, traditionally the brides parents are listed on the invitations because they are the hosts of the wedding (paying for it).   You could opt to say something like "Together with their families…" instead of actually listing all parents’ names.  Just a suggestion!

Post # 4
2640 posts
Sugar bee

You could probably list it a number of ways.  Not having their names, and wording it as WorstTwin suggested, is one route.  (Since they aren’t paying.)  If you are fine with putting their names in, I think you’d have a number of options.  (As an aside, if they aren’t paying and you’re putting their names in, I’d be inclined to also put FIs parents too.)

Could you say:

Miss SmokiPenelope Smith,

daughter of John and Jane Smith


(daughter or Mr. John and Mrs. Jane Smith)

 I’m not sure about completely listing their names separately.  If your mom is just against the tradition of not having her own name mentioned, I can understand accomodating.  However if her real reason is that she and your dad can’t stand each other and their loveless marriage…. I’m not sure I’ be as accomodating.  They, afterall, are deciding to stay together.  I don’t understand why this would be a big deal, for just an invitation… I guess I feel it’s unfair to throw you and your invitations into their battleground.  Just my opinion.


Post # 5
289 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2009

I don’t know that I would notice that the names were seperate. If I were you, I would tell your mom that even though your parents are not actually hosting the wedding (which is why tradition has their names on the invitation to begin with) you are willing to have their names on there because that is important to her. However, it is equally important to you (and since it is your wedding and you are paying for it) that if their names are on the invites, that they are done in the traditional way of Mr. and Mrs.  It’s a comprimise and if she is not willing to accept that, I would just order them with "together with our famlies…" Good luck!

Post # 6
439 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2009

I don’t think it’s a problem to list them seperately… you could also say John and Jane Doe, since they are married {assuming they do share the same last name}.

But if she’s concerned about tradition, well if your parents aren’t paying they don’t get listed as hosts… so do what feels best for you and let he know why!

I avoided any potential conflict by putting "and parents" – catches them all in one fell swoop and no etiquette worries or who paid for what concerns! *lol*

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