(Closed) Parents not attending. How to handle questions

posted 6 years ago in Ceremony
Post # 3
Member
6745 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: June 2014

I would vaguely/ambiguously say something like, “My parents and I couldn’t come to an agreement on certain things and since we don’t see eye-to-eye, they chose not to come, which is fine by me as long as I get to marry the love of my life!”

Sorry your parents are being jerks and won’t come to support you.  🙁  *hugs*

Post # 4
Member
9824 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

Why don’t they approve of him? That sounds pretty extreme for them to just not attend.

I guess if it were me I’d keep it generic. “I guess for whatever reason they felt they couldn’t be here today, but I’m happy everyone else was able to attend.” Don’t feel like you have to offer a detailed explanation.

Post # 5
Member
134 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

I would simply say that they chose not to come and if there were any questions would simply state “screw ’em!” and shrug my shoulders and move on!

Post # 6
Member
11273 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: April 2012

@KatyElle:  i agree, don’t get into details. 

@Ms.BlueEyes:  be vague and divert the question into something more positive, “i really appreciate all of the people who chose to spend our special day with us”.

Post # 7
Member
235 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

I’m so sorry…you must be heart broken!!! :*( Here’s a lil bee hug for you..

 

You don’t have to explain in detail to everyone. When people ask “why not” to your parents not coming… you could just smile. (this usually let people decide on the reason for themselves) or just offer them a simple explaination..”it didn’t work out unfortunately.” 

Having your BMs/bridal party know of the situation and have them help handle situations/questions is another good idea.

I hope you still have a splendid wedding!!  XO

Post # 8
Bee
1433 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2012 - Historic Lougheed House

Wow that is so sad, so sorry you’re having to deal with that. 

I’d give a basic “it didn’t work out” response…. but seriously, they may just be saying that.  I think chances are they might end up coming. 

Post # 11
Member
5096 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

I’m sorry, that’s really hard. I agree with PPs; don’t tell anyone who doesn’t need to know. If someone asks, just say that due to difficult circumstances, they are unable to be there. And hey, it’s a LONG time between now and May. They might change their minds.

(Have your parents been announcing to people that they’re not going to come? Otherwise, how do people know to ask about it already?)

Post # 12
Member
2281 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

How awful 🙁

Just say you’d rather not discuss it, and that you’d rather focus on pleasant things. 

Post # 14
Member
4869 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: October 2018

Since they live out of state, you could always lie and say something came up (budget constraints?) and they couldn’t travel. That may raise a few less eyebrows.

Post # 15
Member
235 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

Like mepayne suggested.. since they live in another state… if you really don’t want to tell your friends/guests and don’t mind a little fib… then you can give an excuse for their absence in whichever way you feel most comfortable. 

Saying that they’re not too well for traveling may raise fewer eyebrows and deliver more understanding.

But as some suggest..there is still a bit of time and never say never! Maybe they’ll realise they are missing out on a major important day. 

Hang in there sweets!! XOXO

Post # 16
Member
578 posts
Busy bee

“my parents will not be able to attend due to some family issues going on at the moment. I’d rather not go into detail, as the matter is private to us, but thanks for understanding!”

I’m sorry OP. just thank them for their concern over whats going on with your parents, but say the statement to them above, and move on.

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