(Closed) Parents not coming

posted 7 years ago in Family
Post # 3
Member
3316 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2009

It sounds like you are better off without them there.  And if anyone asks, you can always say, “Yes, we’re so sorry they were unable to be here, and we know they are, too.”   That takes the focus off their exact excuse, but discourages any pity parties on your behalf.

I can sympathize, though.  My parents decided the expense was not worth it to attend my sister’s wedding–even though they had plenty of money.  Even 30 years later, I don’t think she has forgiven them.

However, it is not your fault that they are the way they are.  All you can do is appreciate the fact that your family of choice will be a whole lot better than your family of birth.

Post # 4
Member
671 posts
Busy bee

My FI’s parents wont be at our wedding (as well as his whole family).. i am a bit concerned that MY family will make a big deal out of it but I am chalking it up to being dark! LOL Actually I feel like there will be enough love in the room to overshadow any other issues (and there are A LOT). If I were you, I would thank my lucky stars they were not coming! I would rather people stay home than come and make drama

Post # 6
Member
5096 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

@ST2011:

Hugs. 2dBride is exactly right. My best friend in college had her dad decide at the last minute that he and his mail-order bride (no really) didn’t feel like coming to her graduation. It’s one of, like, 3 times I had ever seen her cry. 

She has since gotten over it and even built a decent relationship with him. But it was really hurtful at the time, and it was in no way her fault.  The same is true of you – if your parents don’t show, it will absolutely not be your fault.  It’s entirely on them.

That may not be much comfort, but I know you will have a beautiful, happy wedding with the family you are building.

Post # 7
Member
1890 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

I’m really sorry you’re dealing with this–it sounds like your parents have been letting their personal drama affect their relationship with you for a while 🙁

I’m sure nobody will think you’re a horrible person for not paying for your parents’ plane tickets to the wedding.  Some guests may think less of your parents, but that’s what they get for not coming.

Post # 10
Member
10 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: March 2011

I kinda have crazy divorced parents too who don’t get along…and its caused me alot of stress worrying about what will happen at the wedding….I think you should not worry t much about it…I understand your hurt feeling, but it will be ok…if they want to be there for you they will. They need to put their issues aside for you and if they don’t then you live and learn and will have to set boundres in your life where they are concerned…I know from experience this is not easy…it taken me a few years to come to tems with this…hang in there…I’m sending you love and prayers:-)

Post # 10
Member
1 posts
Wannabee
  • Wedding: March 2015

I feel for you! My entire family is refusing to go to my wedding because they would have to drive three hours to go. It has nothing to do with money just the effort is too much. My FI’s friends and family are all having to fly in but my family can’t stand to drive that far. My best friends mom is driving 10 hours to come but my own mother can’t be bothered to see her only daughter get married. It is really depressing sometimes but I had rather have people I know love me there then worry about people who don’t want to celebrate with us.

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