Post # 61
HeartsandSparkles: Just because the laws–especially US laws, which are ill-equipped to effectively deal with the challenges presented by the permanent nature of digital data–allows someone to do something doesn’t mean that that person shouldn’t take additional ethical and humane considerations into account when thinking about his or her actions. Perhaps the parents don’t have the “right” in the legal sense, but anyone who kicks up a fuss about not being able to post his or her average, non-professional picture of someone’s kid on Facebook because the parents have a legitimate concern in wanting the child to have a limited social media footprint is a weenie. Sorry.
Post # 62
Not everyone is obsessed with social media and having pictures or life updates online. If a friend or family memeber didn’t want pictures of themselves or their children online, I don’t understand what the big deal is about not posting certain pictures.
Yes, you could potential end up in the background of a stranger’s photo. But if you would prefer to limit the amount of photos of yourself or your children online I don’t think it is unreasonable to request certain pictures not be posted.
Even with professional photographers, you sign a release that they can use your photos in their portfolio but it’s not going to have any negative impact on their business if a couple tells their photographer the parents of the flower girl/ring bearer request photos of their child not be published online.
Post # 63
I get really angry when people put my photo online, unless they ask me first and show me the picture. I find it rude and it’s not thier image to post. Me and SO are currently pregnant and havev said no one is put photos of our baby online. They are welcome to take photos for their own purposes but not a single one is going online.
At the end of the day each to their own, everyones comfortable zones are different and they should be respected.
Post # 64
I can definitely see where the parent is coming from. I am a very private person and I don’t even like when people post or tag ME in pictures without my consent. I just don’t need my life detailed on the internet and i’d feel the same for any future kids. I understand the occasional picture though. No pictures whatsoever seems too paranoid.
Post # 65
HeartsandSparkles: I believe FB is fairly responsive on this issue. At least they were a few years ago. I know people first hand who have had photos removed. I am not sure what the legalities are, or if anyone could theoretically challenge this practice.
Post # 66
MarriedToMyWork: We can agree to disagree- I would personally take it down as a courtesy, but I do NOT think that someone posting wedding photos that happen to include the flower girl is not UNETHICAL- that’s a serious stretch, and laughable, IMO.
I’m not saying I agree completely with the laws, and some parents have a legitimate concern, but they don’t have a legal right and the owner of the photo has legal protections under the First Amendment. Sorry, the parents don’t have a defendable position legally.
If a parent is so concerned about having their childrens’ photos online, it is their responsibility to let it be known BEFORE the wedding. Many people will respect a parent’s wishes, and that would prevent this problem. Some may choose not to respect the parent’s wishes and that may be rude or inconsiderate, but at the end of the day a parent not entitled to any legal remedy and has no “right” to anything.
Post # 67
weddingmaven: Sure, they respond to requests and I’m sure many times someone agrees to take them down. The point is that FB isn’t required to take them down, even by their own policy, unless it truly violates a right of privacy (and wedding pictures do not). The article you posted doesn’t say that FB agreed with the Mom or took down the photos- just that she wanted them down and requested it. I think this thread just shows that a lot of people have misunderstandings about their privacy rights.
I literally JUST said this, but I still think that if a parent is so concerned about having their childrens’ photos online, it is their responsibility to let it be known BEFORE the wedding. Many people will respect a parent’s wishes, and that would prevent this problem most of the time.
Post # 68
“Update: A Facebook spokesperson offered the following correction to Bejar’s answer: “Our policy does in fact allow parents to ask that photos of their children under age 13 be removed from Facebook. By typing ‘How can I get an image of my child removed’ in the Facebook Help Center, parents can find a simple form to fill out to make that request. We’d like people to know that most questions about Facebook and how it works can be answered by checking our Help Center at facebook.com/help, and that this information is available to everyone, whether or not they use Facebook.”
Post # 69
HeartsandSparkles: I believe their current policy is to remove the photos. My guess is the policy language is intentionally vague in order to protect them legally.
But I agree it is better to ask beforehand, if possible.
Post # 70
You’re upset that you can’t post the picture of a child you don’t know on your Facebook profile, because the parents asked you not to… That is absurd.
I don’t understand how any reasonable person could have a problem with such a request.
Frankly, this way of thinking is hard to wrap my around. I don’t understand it, and I think it’s a good thing that I don’t.
Post # 71
MarriedToMyWork: I couldn’t agree more.
Post # 72
I don’t have a problem with you posting the picture and I don’t have a problem with the parent asking for it to be taken down. Legally, you are fine to post it and the parent is fine to ask politely to have it removed.
However, I do have a hard time understanding parents who flip out about pictures of their children online. The chances of someone becoming obsessed with your child, finding them, and doing something terrible are so small it’s not worth anyone’s time to seriously worry about it. The chances of dying in a car accident are much, much higher. I’m sure the same people who are obsessed with keeping their children off social media have gone above the speed limit or rolled through a stop sign. Do you know how many kids die in swimming pools? But parents let their kids swim all the time. Statistics, people.
Post # 73
This is a great editorial about a woman who’s daughter’s picture went viral as a meme after it was posted to facebook. I’m going to have to agree with the parents as I completely see where they are coming from. I counsel a summer camp and every year I check “no” on the media release because I prefer that my photo not be used for promotional material.
Post # 74
Atalanta: It is soooo not your place to decide whether a parent should or should not have their kid’s photo on the internet. I fully intend to keep my future child’s image off of the internet, not just because there are creeps out there, but because my child did not ask to be broadcast on the internet. FB is notorious for using your information for propietary purposes, and I’ll be damned if I let a company have any rights to my child’s image. To say that a person should decline their child being a part of a loved one’s wedding is ridiculous. If someone is important enough to me that my child is in their wedding, then I would fully expect that they already know or will understand and cooperate with my desire to keep their image off the web. I myself do not ever post images of friend’s or family’s children unless they themselves post the images and I know they are comfortable with it.
Post # 75
i understand why TO YOU the picture might not have been a big deal. maybe you post regularly to facebook, assumed it would be fine, and posted it without any harm intended. ok fine. but when the picture is of a child–more specifically, a child that’s not yours–you don’t get the final say.
i would at least ask the parent hey i got this adorable shot, is it cool if i post it? but in most cases, i just wouldn’t. unless the parent herself had posted a shot of her as flower girl and you sent her the other one maybe…but yeah. i think she did a reasonable thing by asking you in a message (not in a post or comment publicly) to take it down.
in the future, stick to posting pics of your friends that are adults, and if you get a cute shot of someone’s kiddo, just text it to them.
oh and i just saw where you questioned like what if you were a professional photog or something: good question (seriously). if that were the case, then the parent of the child would be aware of you taking photos of her with the wedding party, and would likely have approached you at some point to ask you not to post to social media. granted, it might have been in the couple’s contract for you to have permission to use everything, but come on. that’s someone’s kid and they’re asking you nicely. it’s not a slight against your photography skills, it’s just the parent’s preference.
i do not think the flower girl should’ve been taken out of her role just because her mom didn’t want her on facebook. seriously facebook is not the be all end all. she could be the flower girl AND not be on facebook AND you will be fine.