Post # 1
Another etiquette question—I’m having a destination wedding and I’m not sure if I should mention my parents on the wedding invite. My parents are giving us a couple thousand as a wedding present but they’re not paying for the wedding. They aren’t contributing to wedding planning or anything like that but they will be there.
His parents have no involvement and have made it clear that they’re not coming. At this point I thought I should just leave our parents out of the invitation.
Is it a no-no to leave the bride’s parents off of the invite if they’re not planning the wedding?
Post # 3
We did not include either parents on the invitation, as we paid for and planned our wedding ourselves.
Post # 4
I left our families off our invites, because we are grown adults hosting our own wedding.
Traditionally, if the parents aren’t paying you are supposed to write “together with their families,” but that would have been a lie in our case.
Post # 5
I just put bride and groom, together with their families – short and sweet, everyone is covered!
Post # 6
I say it doesn’t matter. Some parents feel lik it’s important to have their names others don’t care. I know also there are a vast array of arrangements that come with people paying weddings and so it’s not always reflecting on the invites. I have had friends who paid for the wedding on their own and put parents, I had a friend who parents were divorce and she felt it was too complicated and so she left their names out of it, and they both helped payed for it. I would speak to your parents and Fi and hopefully come to a choice that everyone is comfortable with.
Post # 7
It is my understanding that, according to etiquette, you only put parents on the invitation if they are hosting in some capacity. For example, if you parents are hosting/ paying for the whole thing, it might say “Mr. and Mrs. Parents request the pleasure of your company and the marriage of their daughter, Bride, to Groom….” of if they are helping but you are also paying, you might use “Together with their parents.” If it’s just you and your Fiance paying/ hosting the whole thing, then it doesn’t make sense for the parents to be the ones officially extending an invitation to guests.
Post # 8
My parents did the same thing, we paid for the wedding but my parents gave us money as a gift. And we didn’t put them on the invites, they didnt seem to mind.
Post # 9
I just don’t know if ‘together with their families’ is very honest when his family isn’t attending or helping at all
Not being resentful about it–we’re adults and it’s a destination so not everyone can come-but together with their families wouldn’t be very honest
And then just saying with the bride’s family seems like a swing at his family–and not really truthful either since my family isn’t throwing the celebration, we are
I think I’m going to stick with just leaving the parents out of it
Post # 10
Neither of our parents are helping with the wedding. And instead of going with the traditional bride and groom hosting, we are putting our kids as hosting. Granted they are all under the age of 4 but I think it just adds a specialness to it. We are even including them in the sand ceremony.
Post # 11
@mvest: that’s cute! No kids for us so that’s not an option, but it’s a cute idea