(Closed) parents only: do you regret having children?

posted 8 years ago in Babies
  • poll: Do you regret having a child or children?

    Yes

    No

    no children--want to see the results!

  • Post # 32
    Member
    3450 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: September 2012

    I don’t.

    Post # 33
    Member
    536 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: March 2012

    View original reply
    @Mopsie1:  

    I don’t usually reply to things like this, but that was not a nice thing to say. Everyone will always have differeing views on children for their own personal reasons. It is not something, I feel, someone needs a “license” for?! OP asked for no responses about why or why not, just if they regretted the decision. 

    Post # 35
    Member
    2810 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: June 2012

    View original reply
    @Mopsie1:  

    While I agree that it is way too easy for just anyone to have children (and then too hard for deserving people to), I think your outlook is so sad 🙁 I can understand not wanting children of your own, but I am not destroying the earth because I am choosing to responsibly have a child….

    Post # 36
    Member
    3774 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: December 2004

    View original reply
    @Mopsie1:  Wow!!!  That was an incredibly stupid thing to say.  If the taxpayer is not footing the bill and the children are happy, what concern is it of yours?  I have two children, however I know several families who have many children.  The fact that you are so judgemental drives me crazy.  I have a friend now who is pregnant with her 11th baby.  Her husband and her are financially sound, have fantastic kids, and love every one of their children.  Perhaps you could tell her which of her precious children should not exist?

    Post # 37
    Member
    2137 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: October 2012

    i dont even though sometimes i wish i had waited a little longer ihad her when i was 21, but i love the bad and mostly the good moments with her. They are totally priceless Laughing

    Post # 38
    Member
    1425 posts
    Bumble bee

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    @Mrs. Bear Cheese Pie:  I’d just like to comment on your post, specifically this part:

    I feel bad that Fiance and I will never have just the two of us. No spontaneous trips, no sex all over the house whenever we want, no time where it’s just me and him

    Guess what, you WILL have that time!  …unless you’re expecting your daughter to live with you and rely on you for the rest of your life.  My parents had me and my little brother in their very early twenties as well.  My Mum has always said, “It was hard to see all of my friends and their SO’s get that fun ‘newlywed’ time, but we’re getting that NOW!  My kids are all grown up, married (one, anyway) and I look at some of my friends now and think, ‘God, I’m glad I’m done with all of that!'”  Yes, it will be later in life, but its never too late to have that time with your SO!

    Post # 39
    Member
    1668 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: March 2012

    Interesting post.  I believe more people regret having kids but would NEVER admit it because they will be ripped to shreds both IRL and on the internet.  Could you imagine a mother saying something like this in a room full of women?  Never happen.

    What I have always found strange is the amount of time the mothers around me spend complaining about things related to their kids but then when you ask them if they wish they had done things differently they recite the “mother’s script” professing their love.  Like a PP mentioned, I don’t believe all of them.

    Does anyone recall what happened in Nebraska when they didn’t word their safe haven law correctly?  People were dumping kids of all ages.  Drove hours to do so.  They saw a get out free card and took it.  Of course, that wasn’t the intent of the law but I believe it illustrates that there are indeed people that regret having their kids and don’t want them. 

    Post # 40
    Member
    2224 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: April 2014

    I had my child too early. I regret not being able to do 19, 20 year old things like university, dorm living, self exploration, picking up and traveling anywhere so long as there’s money in my pocket and more things I can’t even think of. I seriously regret who I had my child with. Sometimes I really fear he will take after his father, who he still sees fairly regularly.

    But I do not regret having my child. A lot of times, he’s the only thing keeping me here on Earth. He can be a huge pain sometimes and boy I’d be lying if I didn’t admit that I’d like to run away screaming some days. But I need him just as much as he needs me. He was given to me as a challenge and raising him to be the best person he can become WHILE bettering my own self is my life’s purpose.

    Post # 42
    Member
    380 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: October 2015

    I love my son to death & would not trade him for anything.  I just wish I would have picked a better “father”.  But then if I had I wouldn’t have my “T”.

    Post # 43
    Member
    5654 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: April 2011

    I’ve been here awhile and so I don’t have a problem being completely honest… flame me if you feel you must but here goes…..

    With DS I never regretted or questioned having him. Oddly enough I was young, he was 100% unplanned, and I was in NO position to have a child. Needless to say he was a wonderful baby and I just loved that I had him. Even through a divorce and being a single parent I never thought I shouldn’t have had him or I had made a mistake.

    This go round has been quite different and I’ve struggled off and on since getting my postive pregnancy test (I’m sure none of you would’ve EVER guessed that). Dear Daughter was 100% planned 7 years after DS and I’m in a wonderful supportive, stable marriage…. perfect to plan having a child right?… well like I said I’ve had bouts thinking I was crazy to actually SIGN UP to have another child off and on since about 6 weeks pregnant. And now that Dear Daughter is here and is NOT an easy baby, that’s definitely been inflamed.

    I 100% love both my children and would have to be put in a looney bin if something ever happened to them, but having Dear Daughter and her being so much more “high needs” I’ve definitley asked myself what I was thinking and the thought of having more children (since DH and I wanted atleast 2 maybe 3) has almost completely gone out the window. I’ve been on the edge of thinking I have ppd, Dear Daughter is fussy most of the time, and every bit of my time has been taken up completely by just trying to keep her content…. which only makes me feel worse about what I’m not able to do for DS.

    Would I feel like this if Dear Daughter was a more laid back baby?… idk. But I do know that having more than one child is COMPLETELY different than having just one and I’ve questioned where my logic was in adding to the responsibliity of having kids multiple times.

    Flame me for being honest, but I have a hard time believing that there aren’t more moms that feel that strain atleast SOME of the time.

    Post # 44
    Member
    2095 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: September 2011

    I think some people are missing the point of this post. It isn’t about whether you get frustrated with your child and get momentarily annoyed and wonder what if. It is about truly wanting or not wanting your child/children. 

    Huge difference there! All parents get frustrated, this goes beyond frustration though.

    Post # 45
    Member
    3774 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: December 2004

    View original reply
    @runsyellowlites:  I went through the same thing!  I encourage you to go to see your doctor about possible ppd.  I had it and would sooner choose death than to ever go through that again.  My daughter was also very very high needs and a terrible sleeper.  What you are feeling is okay.  Please let your doctor and husband help.  This too truly will pass.  You will not always feel this overwhelmed.  You will enjoy your family again.

    Post # 46
    Member
    71 posts
    Worker bee
    • Wedding: September 2013

    I gave birth to my one and only 23 years ago at the age of 18. At the time I thought I was too young, but I have been a single mom the whole time and my son has thrived. I was just telling a friend with a 3yr old that it only gets better. My son and I are the best of friends. We still hang out and play video games and watch the Big Bang Theory together. We never let the day end without saying I love you. I thank God for blessing me to be his mother all these years and I am honored to be friends with such a good man.

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