(Closed) parents only: do you regret having children?

posted 8 years ago in Babies
  • poll: Do you regret having a child or children?
    Yes : (32 votes)
    9 %
    No : (108 votes)
    30 %
    no children--want to see the results! : (225 votes)
    62 %
  • Post # 47
    Member
    536 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: March 2012

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    @StormyRose:  

    I think the poll is kind of unrealistic in the way that it was asked. It can’t be that black and white. 

    Post # 49
    Member
    811 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: April 2014

    I don’t regret having any of my children, but I regret getting to know the person I could have been had I not gotten pregnant at 17.

    Post # 50
    Member
    2095 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: September 2011

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    @TheJeanses2012:  I think it truly can be that simple. Either you want your child/children or you don’t. I know a mother of 3. I have posted it before she has told her 3 year old that he ruined her life. She has admitted to certain friends she wished she never had any of them on more than one occasion. That to me is a person who regrets having children.

    Post # 51
    Member
    9816 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper

    Nope. There are times when I wish we’d waited money wise, but she makes my life better, not worse. So no need to regret it.

    Post # 52
    Member
    9816 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper

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    @StormyRose:  Yeah ditto. ALL parents have moments, or even days, weeks or months of “WHAT THE HELL WAS I THINKING?!!!”

    But it goes away and through it all you fiercely love and generally enjoy your kids as people. To me regretting them would mean you’re tempted to just drop them off at the police station and run.

    I have been through some major shit with my daughter, but if someone showed up and said “I have a time machine, you can go back and she would have never been born no consequences” I’d say no effing way.

    Post # 53
    Member
    5654 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: April 2011

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    @MrsFuzzyFace:  Thanks, DH has been great and thankfully he’s not too keen on me shutting down and not talking so he’s been able to be really supportive. I plan on talking to my MW next time I see her.

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    @KatyElle:  I guess since I never thought the “WTH was I thinking” with DS it’s just been a really foreign aspect this go round. Glad to know that thinking that doesn’t equal regret though b/c it sure felt like it to me having never thought that. lol

    Post # 54
    Member
    536 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: March 2012

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    @StormyRose:  

    I see where you are coming from, I guess I just don’t understand the latter part, mostly because I can’t relate. No worries, though, I see what you are saying in some way. 

    Post # 55
    Member
    2095 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: September 2011

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    @runsyellowlites:  If someone came to you today and said they would take her away and everything would go back the way it was….what would your response be?

    I have a high mainteneace baby. He screamed almost non stop for months. He still likes to be held almost all the time. There are some days where I want to cry because it is so overwhelming. The first day he was able to not be held for 20 minutes I broke into tears. Yes I have PPD but in the end it comes down to one simple fact….I adore him. I know we will get through this. 

    Post # 56
    Member
    2695 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: February 2008

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    @Paigey:  I just wanted to say how beautifully said that was.

    Post # 57
    Member
    1512 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: September 2013

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    @CherryWaves:  I know, I know. I just sort of want it now. I keep telling myself it will be better to have it later in life when we actually have the money to do all the fun stuff we would probably only wish we could do right now if we weren’t parents. It’s just jealousy at seeing my friends without children have the freedom to do more spontaneous things.

    Post # 58
    Member
    422 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: November 2012

    Not for a milli-second. It’s the most terrifying awesome life changing thing you can go through. When people thinking about having kids talk about what they’re going to have to ‘give up’ all I can say is it’s nothing to what you gain 🙂

    Post # 59
    Member
    746 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: May 2013

    Never regret having my baby….she was 100% planned.

    Post # 60
    Member
    2161 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: July 2011

    I can honestly say that I have never regretted having him.  Even with the dissolution of my relationship with his dad a few months after he was born.

    Post # 61
    Member
    2598 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: October 2010

    I don’t have kids myself, but I’m pregnant now, so this post intrigues/terrifies me. 

    BUT I actually have known two women who literally DID regret having children. 

    One had her first child and then 16 years later, had a second child with a man who was abusive, which may have had something to do with it, but in all honestly, I think that she feels like she’s almost done raising the first one, and then is overwhelmed by the second, doesn’t feel like she has the enthusiasm and interest at 46 with a 5-year-old…She did say that she loves her daughter, but she does regret having her. She just doesn’t feel like the time is right and she feels like she doesn’t have much to give. 

    THe other woman was my good friend’s own mother–that friend is in her sixties, so her own mother had her at a time when there weren’t a lot of options for women and having children was sort of “what everyone did.” She fell into that and HATED being a homemaker and full-time mother. She would have much rather preferred to keep her first love, acting, and resented her children because she couldn’t. 

     

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