(Closed) parents only: do you regret having children?

posted 8 years ago in Babies
  • poll: Do you regret having a child or children?

    Yes

    No

    no children--want to see the results!

  • Post # 91
    Member
    1406 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: June 2013

    My only regret is not having more kids and not starting earlier.

    Post # 92
    Member
    385 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: November 2016

    Yes. Autism destroys a family. It reeks havoc on every part of your life. Remove the autism and my answer would be a very firm NO. 

     

    I do wish I had not married her dad nor gotten pregnant and waited til now to start a family. I’m a better mom now than i was 5 years ago. I’m the free spirit type. Sort of flakey, always going and doing, exploring, traveling, being spontaneous. Autism strangled that out of me. I’m too tired to continue to fight her tantrums and violent out bursts to do the things I enjoy. So my life is held hostage by her disability. On bad days I feel like I’m rotting here with a beautiful, smart child who I love desperately and want to share my life with. But autism stamps that possibility out with an iron boot. 

    Post # 93
    Member
    180 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: December 2015

    I can’t speak for myself. My grandmother admitted to regretting children. She grew up in a time when there weren’t many other options for women. she would have preferred to be a journalist – and did write many articles for the local paper and traveled to places that weren’t popular tourist spots at the time. She had children because she felt she had to, and because birth control wasn’t really an option at that time so if it happened, it happened. she was always disinterested in her children. 

    that said, I would be interested to ask this question to older generations who did have more societal pressure and less choices (contraception, available jobs). 

    Post # 94
    Member
    2355 posts
    Buzzing bee

    For those who are saying they have regrets, I think you for your candor. It is a hard thing to confess to.

    Post # 95
    Member
    880 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: October 2006

    View original reply
    erosie:  

    I think your grandmother’s experience is very common among women of earlier generations. 

    I know my mother hated being a parent and I heard about all that she missed out on because of her kids. Obviously this affected my decision not to have children of my own. 

    There are plenty of people who wish that they never had kids but they don’t feel like they can say so because of the taboo. Google “I hate being a mother” and you will see.

    I think it’s much harder to be a mother than a father too. Most fathers do very little compared to mothers when it comes to raising kids. I believe this based on what mothers have told me and what I have observed. 

    Post # 96
    Member
    531 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: December 2016

    I wouldn’t say I regret it but it tougher than I imagined. I love him so much but worry everyday for his future. Sometimes I do wish I could wake up, take a coffee back to bed and relax. 

    pre baby I couldn’t understand why people would choose to be childless but I respect people for making that choice now. 

    Post # 97
    Member
    2208 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: August 2012

    No regrets at all. I love my daughter with my whole self and couldn’t imagine my life without her in it! Baby number 2 is coming in July and I can’t wait to feel the same way about him! All the hard parts of being a parent are well worth it in my opinion.

    Post # 98
    Member
    2376 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: January 2013

    my best friend has a 2 year old and regrets having kids. She is a clinical psychologist (still studying towards it, will finish end of next year after about 9 years at University) and she has had to put her career on hold for him, she isnt that maternal so never really showed much enthuiasism towards children, shes quite methodical and practical. She is engaged and they have been together probably 6 years. No plans to marry. but they love to travel and havent done any trips since T came along, i think she does love her son but she also misses her old life a hell of a lot. I dont think she was really ready to give up her life and feels like she has sacrificed a lot. She mentally sound , no depression but just yerns for her old life.

    Post # 99
    Member
    1651 posts
    Bumble bee

    I had three, love them to pieces but they cost to much.

    Post # 100
    Member
    282 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: September 2015

    View original reply
    Mopsie1:  these are things I think about !! What will the world be like in 25 years with politics/war, the environment conditions rapidly deteriorating, etc. My friends who are parents just tell me”you can’t worry about that” but to be a good parent, shouldn’t you worry about what world/life your child might have ? I’ve also never really wanted children (nor has husband) but on the rare emotional occasion where we briefly think we might.. This is all I can think of

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