(Closed) Parents or no parents?

posted 6 years ago in Elopement
Post # 3
Member
1141 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

Do you have a sister that would be able to come with your mom. It could be really good for her with your dad being sick so long and everything. I would ask one of them to come with her.

Post # 5
Member
9955 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2012

Tough call.  I think if you open it up to one set of Parents, then you need to also invite your Mom as well.

BUT I so get the feeling of being obliged to act as Party Host / Tour Guide for a Destination Wedding.

Mr TTR and I are Eloping to our Destination Wedding in Myrtle Beach.  When we told family (my Parents & our kids… lol not to mention friends)… we’ve been getting a ton of “Hey can we come too”

Duh, that isn’t what an Elopement is… an Elopement is meant to be more low key and personal.  As we are older, and been married before, we wanted something DIFFERENT this time from previous Weddings / Memories.

AND I did not want the hassle of feeling obligated to figure out where to put folks up, do airport pick ups, drive them around, entertain them etc.  AND I most certainly didn’t want the headache that comes with Scheduling a lot of stuff (10 AM pick up at airport – 11 AM check into Hotel – Noon Lunch with everyone – 1 PM get dressed – 2 PM coordinate cars – 3 PM Wedding – 5 PM Wedding Dinner)

I truly wanted it to be all more simple this time round…

That said, I do get the part where your Mom (and you) have both recently lost your Father… so maybe the break / change would be good for her.  So I agree with the others, if you can get someone to keep her company (a relative) then that would be an ok thing.

As much as we don’t want a pile of folks at our wedding, I suppose, I wouldn’t be that offended / put off IF there were a few loving (self sufficient / independent) types showed up.

Hope this helps,

PS… Have been to both your choices… Jackson Hole & Banff area, they are gorgeous settings.  Don’t let not having an organized option for Eloping deter you, DIY isn’t that difficult… you can find lots of resources on-line for self planning an Elopement.  It is proving to be a lot easier than I imagined (we are doing a Beachfront Wedding in Myrtle Beach) … even though I’ve decided to ramp things up a bit… originally thought just a simple ceremony / officiant.  Now thinking we need more details… so adding on a Photographer, Limo Service, and Wedding Dinner for 2 in addition to our already worked out Honeymoon plans.  WBee has been very resourceful, and fellow Bees informative.

 

Post # 8
Member
9955 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2012

@sienna76: Re – Your Reply # 5

“As we are older, and been married before, we wanted something DIFFERENT this time from previous Weddings / Memories.”

I was married before as well. I also eloped and and no guests at all (starting to sound similar??). I too have the need to “do something different.” I don’t think I regretted not having family there, although I did dream about what would it be like, I think I regretted how unspecial the other one was.

In that case…

As you haven’t made any concrete plans yet… maybe you should talk with your Mom about other possibilities (the idea of seeing you married, and visiting).  Maybe you guys could work out something whereby she makes a visit first, and then the wedding is a tag-on to that.

It could still be a small intimate wedding… with just a few family members… could be in your home area, or a nice Destination not too far away.

Mom could fly in and visit with you, travel to the Wedding area with you, and then fly out immediately thereafter (know there is decent transportation between Banff & Calgary… not sure of the situation in Jackson Hole)

As I said I wanted different this time round… first wedding we were over 100 Guests, and as I was young, the Wedding was far more about My Parents, than it was about me / us.

Which is why it was so important to me that the ceremony part was smaller this time, and intimate.  Even thought of doing it in our backyard with just immediate family.  BUT Hubby-2-B likes the whole idea of doing it on the beach, and Myrtle Beach means a lot to us (sort of our place)… and then we can have a bit of Honeymoon right after (Part I) as it is the Christmas Holidays.

Lol, we both agreed we can have a kick-ass party later on… with all our friends back home.  And most definitely an Open House or Back-Home Reception can be a smaller affair than a Sit-Down Meal with a full Reception (also less expensive, and less fussy).  Certainly “more us” in styling.

EDIT TO ADD – Note I was drafting my reply while you were typing Reply # 6… looks like our thinking was somewhat similar

 

Post # 10
Member
4194 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: July 2012 - Baltimore Museum of Industry

Knowing a bit of your history, I like the idea of inviting your entire immediate family. I think a joyous celebration like this would be a blessing for all of you. 🙂

Post # 13
Member
1186 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

We are getting married, just the two of us in the town where we live.  Our families know, but we haven’t told them the date (tentatively this September).  The past couple days I have struggled with the idea flying my mom out here for the wedding, as she’s never been here and I’d really like her to be with me for it.  I ended up back with the idea of just me and my groom. 

To answer your question, my dad is a retired RVer, like your Future In-Laws.  He sleeps/hangs out in his “wheels” even if he stays in my grandparents’ driveway. They shouldn’t have a problem with that at all.

I kind of like the idea of a small immediate family wedding near your home.  Hopefully I can chime in more as this thread grows.  Good luck!

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