(Closed) Parents Paying

posted 6 years ago in Traditions
  • poll: Who is paying for your wedding?

    Brides Parents

    Grooms Parents

    Both sets of parents

    We're paying for our own

    All of the above

    Other

  • Post # 31
    Member
    198 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: November 2015

    Our wedding cost about $25000, my parents gave us $7000, his parents gave us $3500 and the remainder we paid ourselves. Our honeymoon cost $28000 which my husband and I also paid for ourselves.

     

    We were so lucky as our parents just gave us the cash and said to use it however we chose. They didn’t interfere at all.

    Post # 32
    Member
    7551 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: April 2019

    I think it varies from couple to couple and family to family. I know my parents are planning to fund pretty much the whole thing, but FI’s parents(FMIL in particular) want to pay half. My parents’ wedding was paid for my maternal grandmother, so they want to pay for my wedding and my sister’s when she gets married. Fiance and I are wanting to contribute as much as we can too.

    I don’t agree with those who say you shouldn’t get contributions from family, your parents shouldn’t pay, it’s your wedding so you should pay, etc. If your parents/other family are wanting to pay for it or contribute, and you are not demanding it of them without them wanting to then it’s ok. However I think when it comes to parents funding that may lead to them expecting the main say or a big say in the wedding, then I would reconsider accepting that help.

    Post # 33
    Member
    2168 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: April 2017 - Hogarths, Solihull

    My parents are paying for ours. They wanted their little girl to have a big fancy wedding, so they thought the best way to do this was to pay for it all.

    Honestly, we’d have paid for our own if they hadn’t offered. We’re trying not to have anything that we wouldn’t personally have paid for. 

    FI’s parents have also offered to contribute and this has fallen on deaf ears so far, but we’ll probably ask them to do the formal hire.

    We’re in the UK – I’m 24 and Fiance is 25.

    Post # 34
    Member
    615 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: November 2016

    Ours is not expensive but a couple days after we announced our engagement my parents pretty much insisted that they were paying for it.  I’m an only child and they really want to throw a wedding, and I’m close with them so it’s fine.  I also work in an industry with sporadic freelance work that doesn’t pay a lot (am a creative type) and I think they want me to save my money toward my actual life.  Fiance’s parents have also offered to contribute which is lovely.  

    Edited to add, we also will have an expensive visa for me after married, and my fiance and I are paying for that and the associated costs.  

    • This reply was modified 5 years, 10 months ago by confidenceinrain. Reason: didn't want to double post
    Post # 35
    Member
    107 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: December 2014

    My parents paid for my dress/bridesmaids costs. My SO and I paid for our photographer and videographer which came to about $3000. Apart from that, our parents spilt the costs 50/50, we also weren’t given a budget. It did mean that we had to make a few compromises as they were paying but it all worked out in the end 

    Post # 36
    Hostess
    4598 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: November 2016

    My parents are paying for our wedding, but that is common in my family and social circle. My Aunts and Uncles all paid for my cousins’ weddings and all of my friends who have been married so far have had their weddings paid for by their parents. A couple of my recently engaged friends are paying on their own, but they are in the minority of the people I know. I and my family are from NY/NJ/PA, but many of my friends from SC/GA also had their weddings paid for by their parents.

     ETA: We’re all mid to late twenties. 

    • This reply was modified 5 years, 10 months ago by missinthecity.
    Post # 37
    Member
    1730 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: June 2015

    Our parents basically split it 50/50 (so not 100% traditional). It’s incredibly common in our families and our parents’ social circles to pay for children’s weddings, so it was always kind of assumed that would happen. DH is one of three boys, so no daughters to pay for – but they wanted to contribute to our wedding anyway.

    We had a pretty big budget (total costs were probably somewhere between 60-65K) and had a wedding we would not have been able to afford for many, many, many years (at the time we were both grad students). We’re incredibly grateful for what was offered to us, and if all goes well, we plan to pay it forward and fund all or most of the weddings of our future children (assuming they want our help).

    Post # 38
    Member
    986 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: July 2017

    Our parents are paying for most of the wedding, as is common in our family and social circles.  We could afford to pay for a small, modest wedding on our own but we told our parents that if they wanted extended family there that was beyond what we wanted to spend.

    My parents are paying for the reception, DJ, flowers, cake and stationary so about $10k.

    FI’s parents are paying for rehearsal dinner, alcohol and the venue rental fee so around $4k.

    We are paying for honeymoon, photographer, hair& makeup, clothing and accessories, etc- probably around $5k.

    Post # 39
    Member
    758 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: October 2015

    We split our wedding right down the middle with my parents. My (now) husbands parents didn’t contribute anything. 

    Post # 40
    Member
    734 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: July 2013

    My parents paid for the wedding. DH’s parents paid for the rehearsal dinner, as well as a reception for about 200 people in their hometown.

    Post # 41
    Member
    904 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: September 2015

    Parents, thank goodness… I am their only girl and they wanted it to be a special day and not hurt us financially.

    Post # 42
    Member
    842 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: May 2015 - Cathedral of the Immaculate Conception / Courtyard Marriott Legacy Ballroom

    I definitely think it depends on what people can afford. DH and I paid for 1/2 of our wedding and my Mom paid for the other half. Mother-In-Law paid for 1/2 of the rehearsal dinner (DH paid the other half). It’s pretty common in my family’s social circle for parents to pay for the wedding, but I knew before we got engaged that DH’s parents couldn’t afford to help out so I started saving for our wedding very early on.

    Post # 43
    Member
    999 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: March 2016

    All of the above for me. My parents are contributing a large sum that we can use for the wedding or personal use once we tie the know. So out biggest wedding expenses (the all-inclusive venue and photographer) are being paid for with that money. His parents offered to pay for the rehearsal dinner and some of the honeymoon. Pretty much everything else (attire, invitations, photobooth, DJ, cake) is being paid directly by us.

    Honestly, if my parents hadn’t contributed, we wouldn’t have had a wedding at all. A big reason we are having a wedding is for our parents and families.

    Post # 44
    Member
    411 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: August 2016

    Well I always thought the Bride and Groom pay for it. Fiance and I have been saving money for the last 2 years (wedding and house) and we have enough to pay for both. However, both our families did offer to contribute $5000 each and my Nana did offer to pay for my wedding gown. We didn’t ask anyone to contribute, these conversations came up on their own. Fiance and I went about the situation like we were paying the entirety by ourselves.

    Post # 45
    Member
    1702 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: October 2014

    I’m in the US and my parents gifted us a set amount of money when we got engaged. They said we could use it however we saw fit, it didn’t have to be for the wedding, but that is what we spent it on. It covered almost the entire cost. My husband’s parents gifted us our honeymoon and our rehearsal dinner.

    The topic ‘Parents Paying’ is closed to new replies.

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