(Closed) Parents! Reasons why you would be hurt if your kid wasn't invited to a wedding?

posted 5 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 46
1406 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

If I saw tons of other kids at wedding who weren’t close relatives of bride/groom.

If the bride or groom was a very close relative, such as my child’s aunt (even then I would probably understand)

If my kid was 16 or 17, I guess I would think that they are old enough to attend/behave, but I don’t know if I would reach the level of being offended.

Post # 47
213 posts
Helper bee

I wouldn’t be offended if my children were not invited to a wedding.  However, depending on the circumstances I may not be able to attend if my children are not invited and I would be offended if and only if the bride/groom or their immediate family expressed a problem with that.

Post # 48
200 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2016

I’ve been to 3 weddings since my son was born, none of which I brought him to (and I can’t even remember if he was invited or not) because I feel like….  personally, if I’m invited to a wedding I want to eat and drink a little and have fun and enjoy celebrating the love of some friends of mine!  I don’t want to be on mom duty.  So I’ve always got someone to watch him when I went to a wedding.  That’s just how I personally feel about it so maybe that’s why I wouldn’t be offended if my son wasn’t invited to a wedding.  I don’t feel kids “don’t belong” one way or the other actually, I would just personally rather have fun without being on mom duty is all lol.  I know my son…  if I brought him to a wedding he’d want to run around, dance around, bump into people, complain about the food (he’s a VERY picky eater), etc etc and I wouldn’t be having a good time so to me if I can’t find a sitter (even if he’s invited) I’m not gonna go to the wedding and I will politely decline.  Now if there was babysitting services offered and he was invited….  ehhh maaaaaaaaaybe then I’d bring him.

Post # 49
34 posts
  • Wedding: January 2017

Only time is was offensive was for a week long wedding extravaganza, over Winter Break from school, and children weren’t to even be there for the full week. Fiance and I were newly serious, and this was for a friend of his. He was willing to pay more for a suite and fly all of us out (vs paying for his flight and room – couple weren’t paying for anything) then I’d stay in the hotel with the kids or take the kids out, but didn’t want to leave his young children behind over Christmas. Kids were 32 month old twins and 5 year old, we both could see the kids wouldn’t handle everything well.

Nope. That would RUIN the extravaganza. So thus my fiance didn’t go. Apparently they had a really high rejection rate. Because who plans a week long extravaganza at an indoor water park hotel and doesn’t welcome children?  They posted on Facebook how the random children all week were too noisy. 

Oddly enough, Fiance isn’t friends with them anymore. 

Our plan is inviting kids and having fun with it. Fiance is voting for Legos and Hot Wheels as entertainment. I think that’s more for the adults.

Post # 50
1002 posts
Bumble bee

As someone who now hates weddings because of being made to attend them as a child, I hate when people drag their children to weddings and make a big deal of it when people want childfree events.

Post # 51
957 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 2014

I wouldn’t be offended unless it was like my sister or something and I had a newborn. Otherwise I couldn’t care less, their party their rules. 

Post # 52
553 posts
Busy bee

Regarding the breast feeding infant thing, how about the mother just staying home with the child? Young babies should not even be around crowds anyway, especially not for the first 6 months. They are not objects to show off or accessories, they are human beings to care for and nurture and protect. Any pediatrician can tell you how susceptible they are to catching something, too.

Post # 53
635 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

KellyNJ:  I think for me at least its more of a family thing – I would never say no to my neice or nephew being there and would want them in my pictures (which they were and they were both part of the wedding).  We are a very close knit family and I couldn’t imagine not having them there for part of my big day (i know it is the same for her).  And as for behavior – I take that into consideration – I know that at 6 months I cannot control my son and his behavior and I want the day to be about her that is why I have my own friend coming to sit in the back with him at church so if he acts up he can go and the rest of my family can focus in on my sister on her big day.  I would do this if the kid was 5 – and at the reception the same thing – I want him there for pictures then he can go home if he is acting inappropriately.  Also – for my wedding the only children invited were are nieces and nephew.  My neice was 11 and a bridesmaid and my nephew was 5 and a ring bearer my husbands niece was about 3 months – and there was no issues.  I had several people in the wedding party with kids and they didnt bring them and honestly had no issue.  They told me they preferred it that way so they could enjoy themselves.

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