- 3 years ago
I am pretty freshly engaged after dating my FH for about 8 years. We have decided to get married yet this year because of plans to move out of state soon.
So here’s the weird part. My parents have been married for all 27 years of my life. A couple of months prior to my engagement, my mother left my father with zero warning and left him a letter to inform him that she needed to “live for herself” now. I love my mother, but I’m appalled by the way she went about this. Separations and divorces happen and that’s ok. Walking away coldly from a man you’ve spent 27 years with is just hard for me to get my head around. I’ll also say that my mother and I have had our struggled in getting along throughout my life. I’ve always been incredibly close with my dad, so seeing her level him isn’t something that I’m bouncing back from quickly. I am attempting to maintain a relationship with my mother throughout the planning but am already becoming frustrated with her victim statements. For instance she mailed me a card that I received today saying that she doesn’t understand why I’m treating her differently when all that has changed is her address. I’ve had weekly phone calls with her and exchange texts numerous days per week. We’ve never been closer than that in the past. Any guidance from bees that have dealt with momma drama would be great. I mean isn’t it supposed to be the Mother-In-Law that drives you nuts? 🙂
My mother is still living in an apartment and only recently shared her address with me so that I could send her a save the date. My parents haven’t yet figured out what will happen to the marriage, the house, etc. To make it even more peculiar, most of the extended family has no clue about the separation and my brother is still not speaking to my mother. I’m just nervous as to how this will play out in the coming months and wanted to hear from anyone who was married with freshly separated or divorced parents about any issues that I should consider for my wedding. I’m just interested to hear how the seating and such was addressed. Or if there were any issues/awkward moments that you didn’t think of logistically ahead of time. I’m hoping the family will be able to have a sit down about the wedding once my parents figure out what they’re plan is. But I also know that my mom isn’t always rational and clearly isn’t in a good head space right now.