- 10 years ago
- Wedding: August 2008
Okay, I need to get this off my chest…
Fi’s mother is a stereotypical mother-in-law. I love her! She does our dishes when she stays at our home, complains when Fiance get’s "too thin" and tells stories of the good ol’ days when she was raising him in the early 80’s. Her husband, and FI’s stepfather, is nice enough.
My father is the most amazing man on earth! I love him and we are very close. My mom and I (sparing all the details) have a strained relationship and don’t talk a lot.
So: Fiance and I have been dating for four years now. When we got engaged we knew that tradition would not be foremost with my father paying for the wedding and his parents paying for the rehearsal dinner. We were going to have to do most of this one on our own. Immediately after we became engaged my father said "here is [25% of the eventual total] I will make sure to take time off work to set up and take care of anything you need. I would also like to purchase your dress for you". Yay dad! after this happened my mother felt left out, and wanted to have a role in the wedding. I asked her to take care of the flowers. The centerpieces, the bouquets, boutonnieres, all of it. She gladly accepted. FI’s parents never offered to purchase, help with or arrange anything. Nothing. Future Mother-In-Law had to be coerced into attending the bridal shower by FI(????). Okay, we have been putting a smile on and pretending to be okay with the lack of interest. It’s a time for happiness and celebration!
Then, one day she calls and says "Is there anything I can help with? I would be happy to do whatever I can". Excellent! We will certainly let you know!
Last night, EIGHT DAYS before my wedding, my mother called to let me know that she could not complete her task of ordering and taking care of the flowers. Yikes! I must admit, part of me expected this. We all knew that she was fully capable of doing something this ridiculous, but I thought with only eight days left were were out of the danger zone. After all, she assured me time and time again that things "were taken care of".
I didn’t panic.
I figured out a plan B, which was not exactly what I had hoped for, but with such short notice and such a large order (side note: my wedding is in my very small hometown with the nearest florist being 1 hour away), the best that we could do. I ordered Lilly’s and decided to have Future Mother-In-Law place them in the centerpieces. The bouquets, etc. will already be created.
We called her after I spoke with my mother and she (FMIL) said no. What?!?!?! She said that her husband will be sleeping at the time we need her and she wasn’t even sure if they would make it early for the formal pics that we are taking prior to the ceremony.
I’m left feeling very angry about this situation. I don’t want to have negative feelings about anything! I have been sooooo good about keeping organized and on budget to prevent this very sort of stress. Finding someone to do the flowers is not the issue anymore. I have many loving friends that would be happy to do so.
What should I do?