Post # 1
I now know where my impatience comes from – both my parents! I was talking with my mum the other day and we were talking finances ahead of a trip we have coming up and she told me that my dad wants to talk with my boyfriend because he wants to know when we will be getting engaged so that they know how much time they have to save for a wedding!
I was so annoyed at them. About 3 months ago they told us both that they didn’t want him to ask for permission, or know anything about a future engagement as they were just happy we were going in that direction.
Any money they give us for a wedding is a bonus, but we are not expecting them to pay for it all. I am just so sick of all the pressure coming from people – how do they expect him to propose when all he ever hears when he visits his family, my family and our friends is when will he propose!
Post # 3
Did you tell them if they don’t back off they risk ending up with no wedding at all? There is nothing -NOTHING – that sets off a guys nerves like being pressured. Not to mention, confronting him is only going to put him on the defensive… the last place you want him to be with your family!!
Post # 4
I know your frustration, when my BF and I were leaving my parent’s house after Thanksgiving, my Dad yelled over everyone “At Christmas we are going to need to talk about thing before you get engaged to red dino”. I still haven’t talked to my parents after that, but I’m going home this weekend (by myself) for a few hours and I plan on telling them to knock it off. With my boyfriend, any pressure makes him back off more.
Perhaps try telling your parents that them putting the pressure on him (for an already intense thing to do) will just cause him to be more stressed and put it off even more.
Best of luck to you, my “get my parents off my SO’s back comrade”
Post # 5
Im glad to hear I’m not the only one here with parents like this!
Thankfully my boy is a really laid back guy and is taking it all in his stride. I did tell him about what my mum had said because I didn’t want him ending up getting cornered by them one day and having this conversation. I wanted him to know that I do not condone that discussion and I had told them to back off.
I have repeatedly told my parents that it will happen when it happens, but with a 6 week holiday coming up next year they may be waiting a while and they need to respect our decisions.
Post # 6
My parents are always asking when the engagement will be. They have your best interests at heart, they don’t want to see you in this awkward waiting place for much longer. I would suggest to them to take out any concerns with you, as you feel that if they pressured him, it would only delay things.
Tell them that you know they mean well, but things are getting there naturally 🙂
Post # 7
Maybe they should have that convo without you being involved. They have a good reason to have this conversation…
Post # 8
I’m sorry but I strongly disagree. As a gal with a big brother and two very close guy friends – I can tell you that from the guys point of view, getting cornerned in to a marriage conversation with your girlfriend’s parents will NOT be well received. It feels like pressure, and it can also feel like getting guilted or ganged up on. None of these things are conducive to the desired outcome.
Post # 9
I dont think they have a good reason to have the conversation with him… they already gave him their permission and told him they wanted to just let things happen naturally.
Yet we still keep coming back to them forcing the issue.
I understand that they have my best interests at heart, but they have accepted him as a son already. Forcing him into a corner and demanding to know WHEN isnt helping anyone – especially me.
I have told him that I want him to be ready when he asks me, and to not do it because of pressure from anyone – including me. I know he is ready, we are in a good place financially and I am fully prepared that it still may not happen for another year because we have a big trip coming up in July. Thats OK with me – it should be with them.