(Closed) parents vs. step-parents

posted 6 years ago in Family
Post # 3
32 posts

for the dj thing you should say that you want all your friends and family to enjoy the day and not be ‘working’.

I don’t think you should have them on the same table though!


Post # 4
1212 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

That’s a good idea for the DJing, and I agree not having them at the same table. I’m having 3 parent tables, FI’s parents, my Mom’s table and my Dad’s table. I honestly never thought about doing it any other way and didn’t know it was traditional to have the parents all together.


We’re not having a bridal party, but we are having my brother and SIL sit with Fiance and I, that way they don’t have to choose to sit with my Dad or my Mom. Fiance has no siblings to put anywhere.

Post # 5
7561 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: January 2013

I have step-parents also. I think the best way to deal with this is to delegate. Say flowers are you and your mom’s job, and the venue is you and your step-mom’s job, etc. This way, they won’t have to work together very much and the roles are clearly defined.

As far as your mother not wanting to be around your father… If she politely asks you to not sit with your father, that’s ok. If she’s threatening not to come to your wedding because your dad is there, she needs to grow up. You should tell her (in a nice way) that this is not about her and she needs to be more supportive. 

I hope it works out!

Post # 6
416 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

Tell your stepdad that you want him to enjoy being a part of your day and not be working. I would do 2 father-daughter dances. Have both dads pick out songs that means something to them and do that.

In regards to your mother I would tell her that you and your Fiance want to pick the venue out alone. And invite them both to the dress fitting. I would tell them that u extended an invite to both “moms” and let them choose whether they want to attend.

And I would put them at the table together and make them deal with each other. I would speak to ” your mom” and tell her what the plan is so she wont be surprised and explain how important it is to you to do it this way.

Good Luck 

Post # 7
3569 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

I think it`s so unfair when parents force their child to pick one parent over the last. If you have a good relationship with your Dad he is still your father and he should walk you down the aisle. 

As for the Dj thing, tell them you want everyone to enjoy themselves, and would rather hire a professional, and also them them Dj sometimes have up lighting and other things to add on the package which you are considering.

As for the table thing, if your parents don`t get along that is just asking for trouble and drama. Some people never let things go and as much we liked too. You should expected them to shut up and paly nice for the pictures, then allow them to stay apart for the rest of the night. Seat them at different tables so they can feel comfortable at the wedding.

Post # 8
501 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

Please don’t put all of your parents at the same table. That is a really bad idea. Let them all enjoy your wedding, don’t force them to sit together when you know they wouldn’t want to (not just your mom, but all of them)!


Maybe you could invite your mom and step-mom both to your dress fitting. It could be very hurtful to one if they are not invited and the other is not…I would not worry about having them both at the venue viewing. It doesn’t really seem like a big deal. I agree with PP about just not wanting your family or friends to be working during your wedding. I would be firm about that, and just say no exceptions, they are there to celebrate with you not to work. As for your mom wanting your step-dad to walk you down the isle…that is totally your choice and I would be firm about that as well. Good luck!


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