- 5 years ago
- Wedding: September 2013
I already made a slightly more casual post on this topic before, but things are escalating and we’re still far away from the big day. So I anticipate everything to get worse as that day nears.
My parents are very messily and very angrily divorced (and both still single), they couldn’t possibly dislike each other more right now. My FI’s parents are happily married, unfortunately that leads to some complications for the logistics of things on the wedding day. Originally I wasn’t planning on having either of my parents walk down the aisle. I didn’t even realize it was a “thing” to have parents walk down the aisle first. My mom can’t really walk well (and has gained a lot of weight these past few years) and has a lot of pride about not showing her weight gain and inability to walk well to anyone (so much so, that I’m not entirely sure she won’t skip my wedding day altogether to avoid that). I offered to let her pass on walking down the aisle, but again her pride won’t let her sit out of the procession if dad and my FI’s parents walk. Dad would probably be fine with skipping the walk, but then only my FI’s parents would be walking…and doesn’t that seem weird? I’m not that close with my dad, so I’ll be walking down the aisle alone even if he walks. Plus him having that moment of “giving away” the bride would emotionally wreck my mom. And because of mom’s difficulty walking she doesn’t really want to walk with me either.
The easiest solution would be to have no parents walk down the aisle. But my FI’s mom really wants to walk down the aisle and I just can’t even begin to ask her not to…So as a result of two single parents (neither of which is walking with the bride) the wedding party size has gotten much larger to accommodate for my two single parents, and my mom is already getting VERY nervous about walking down the aisle.
My mom has already uninvited and then reinvited my Uncle to walk her down the aisle after they had a fight. So I feel as though her “escort” may change a few times over the next year. I may have to add in another person just to walk with dad. And she keeps talking to me about losing weight over and over again, every time she talks to me on the phone she “reassures me” that she’ll lose the weight and I keep telling her not to worry about it. I think it’s become a terrifying obsession for her that she’ll be “big” on my wedding day and have to walk in front of them all. She was considered the prettiest kid of her siblings (at least according to her and grandma) and she doesn’t want her brothers and sisters to see her as she is now. I honestly don’t think she’ll lose this weight, she gained this weight because of very serious medical issues and doesn’t even eat that much. She can’t work out much because her knees need to be replaced (she used to be a jogger). I feel like she’s set herself up for being disappointed when she doesn’t lose weight, and all of this is heading someplace terrible and I have no idea how to stop it.
What would you do?