(Closed) Parents want to buy engagement photos, I don’t like the photographer!

posted 6 years ago in Photos/Videos
  • poll: Should I tell them or just go with it?
    Tell them : (23 votes)
    92 %
    Go with it : (2 votes)
    8 %
  • Post # 3
    6248 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: August 1900

    Tough because it’s such a nice gesture that they are gifting the photographer to you.  And you wouldn’t want to present another photographer to them that’s more expensive and have it be awkward financially. 

    But I think you should sit down with them at a computer and show them what you like/dislike about the photographer’s style.  And show them a few others that you do like as suggestions. 

    I’d rather have someone really enjoy a gift I give rather than have them accept it with a smile and then regret or never use it after they receive it.

    Post # 4
    83 posts
    Worker bee
    • Wedding: October 2003

    Touchy situation… Only you know how they will react. If it will crush them, then I would go ahead and do it. Remember, you can always have the done again later by a photographer of your choice. 

    One way out, might be to find a photographer that you want to use for your wedding, and see if they will do the engagement session too, then you can tell your parents that you have reached out to him for your wedding and he asked to do your engagement pics to. Then that way they can help offset some of your wedding expense. Just a thought.

    Post # 5
    3771 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: August 2013 - Brookfield Zoo

    Definitely tell your parents.. if you don’t like the photographer or his style, you’ll probably be uncomfortable and doubtful during your shoot anyway.  Maybe ask your parents if you can find a different engagement photographer together.

    Post # 6
    4194 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: July 2012 - Baltimore Museum of Industry

    Since they haven’t paid, tell them ASAP that while you don’t like the photographer style, you love that they’re offering you this gift, and you would like to chose another one with them.

    Post # 7
    6533 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: September 2012

    I would just let them know that while you appreciate the gesture, you would prefer to use your actual wedding photographer so your images are all similar in style/editing. 

    Post # 8
    696 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: July 2013

    I would definitely tell them. My older sister and her husband are also gifting us the engagement photo session. We chose the photographer and she went ahead and covered the costs.  If I were you I would research photgraphers and find one that you do like that is in the same price range as the one they chose then just say ” Thank you so much for offering to cover the photographer, but would it be ok if we went with X photographer instead?”  If the price is basically the same I’m assuming they would be perfectly ok with it.

    Post # 9
    236 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: June 2013

    I’m going to be the black sheep here, but why not at least meet with the photographer?  Tell him what you want and like and ask him if he can do it.  If he is so artistically motivated that totally disagrees with your vision, he may not even want to do it and then problem solved!

    Post # 10
    1043 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: November 2012

    @PamelaBrit:  Good point!

    If you truly don’t want to meet with the photographer, I’d definitely tell your parents.  They clearly want to do something nice for you that you’ll actually appreciate, so why not ask for what you want.  🙂  You could say something like, “Thank you so much for the amazing gift!  We have actually already found a couple of photographers we love, and since an engagement session is the perfect way to get to know the photographer even better and to express what we want for the wedding, could we possibly ask that you book one of these people instead?”


    Post # 11
    505 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: August 2012

    I would agree with everyone here.  I would let your parents know , but I think you should meet with the photographer as well.  You can your parents can maybe meet with two or three photographer and decide together.

    The topic ‘Parents want to buy engagement photos, I don’t like the photographer!’ is closed to new replies.

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