- 5 years ago
- Wedding: October 2013
My Fiance and are getting married this fall, and we have been very happy about the fact that we are able to pay for the wedding ourselves, and haven’t had to compromise on any of the things we want. We have a budget of $25,000 and are planning a wedding for about 115 people (close friends and family) at a winery.
Both my parents and my Future In-Laws have recently mentioned that they want to help us pay for the wedding. I consider this incredibly generous of them, and it would certainly make things easier for my Fiance and I money-wise, but I feel uneasy about it for a few reasons.
Firstly, nothing would change about the cost of our wedding based on our parents’ contributions, as we are already having the wedding that we want. I also am worried that my dad will try to guilt us into inviting my second and third cousins on his side of the family, which I and my Fiance are completely set against (for a number of reasons, one being it would make our venue pretty tight). A big part of the reason we waited until we could afford the wedding we wanted is because I know “whoever pays has a say” and I want my Fiance and I to have the final say at our own wedding.
Yesterday my dad floored me with an email saying he wants to give us $10,000 towards the wedding “to help pay for the meal”. This really caught me off-guard, as I never thought he would want to give us that kind of money, which would cover two-thirds of the cost of our venue. While I’m glad he wants to help, I am also very stubborn and independent, and the idea of having my parents “host” the wedding really irks me. However I don’t want to offend my parents or seem ungrateful by not accepting their offer.
What are your thoughts, bees? Personally, I would prefer that if our parents feel they really want to help us out, that they would just give us some cash as a wedding gift, rather than “paying for the wedding” (also for the record I would never expect them to gift us 10K… I think that is way too generous). If we accept their money now, does it still count as them paying if we are able to cover the costs ourselves, and use their money for something else (i.e. honeymoon, put some extra money on the mortgage, etc.)?
Thanks, I really appreciate your input!