(Closed) Parents with “Facebooking” Children

posted 7 years ago in Parenting
Post # 3
Member
14494 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

These are parents who are letting their children run amuck on the internet.  While I will not judge different parenting styles, I would never allow that.  I have two in high school (one 18) and I still have all their passwords and a program that keeps thrack of all of their internet activities.  Better safe then sorry, IMO.  My oldest didn’t want to give them to me, so I simply changed the password on the home network and wouldn’t give it to him until I got them.  Especially now that FB has all the blocking features added.

Post # 5
Member
6892 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: March 2012

@tksjewelry: Thank goodness there are still some like you! And mine, ha.

OP, I know what you’re talking about though. My youngest brother is 15 and he isn’t allowed to block my mom from anything…but some of his friends? Good grief! Lots of girls always comment on his page and the pictures? I feel so old! I’m like, WTH are you wearing? Anything?

Post # 6
Member
5654 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: April 2011

Agreed!

To me it’s about parents actually being INVOLVED in their childrens lives. Just like most parents haven’t a clue what music/videos/apps are on their kiddos phones, ipods, or other devices.

And then there’s the fact that so many parents are trying not to alienate their children and end up in a backseat approach of being their “friend” and well friends are all accepting, not judging, and not correcting…. even though part of loving someone is helping them on their path and out of things that could hurt them.

Sigh….

Darling Husband and I got a book that we’ve been slowly reading through called

“Recreate: Building a culture in your home stronger than the culture deceiving our kids”

Pretty good tool that really helps us parents get that relationship with our kids and still be able to be PARENTS! GRRRRRRRR.

okay I’ll get off my soapbox. lol

Post # 7
Member
1844 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

  I teach upper elementary school and for the past two years, we have had a program come in and teach our kids about internet safety. They talk about Facebook, because even though my students technically aren’t old enough to have accounts, many do. It’s just so hard to even think about this, because what they post at such a young age could end up having a really negative impact as they grow up. I am so thankful that there wasn’t a Facebook when I was growing up!

Post # 8
Member
6009 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2009

It’s an interesting subject, to me, because one of my courses in grad schhol has been focusing a lot on Web 2.0.  It’s amazing how many adults with teens feel overwhelmed and unable to keep up with these new social medias and technologies.  Also, of those that are comfortable with technology, many adults have the same lax privacy standards children/teens of this generation have, giving them a false sense of security on the internet.

I think the most important things a parent can do is keep up on the technologies their children are using and communicate proper internet/technology safety to their children.  If parents do those two things effectively, a lot of those issues (innapropriate pictures/language/etc…) would dramatically decrease. 

Post # 9
Member
2344 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

@Mrs. Spring: I think the most important things a parent can do is keep up on the technologies their children are using and communicate proper internet/technology safety to their children. 


This. My parents didn’t let me watch R-rated movies or MTV but I had a computer in my room with Internet access. They did their best with parental controls but I knew my way around them. They just didn’t get it. That’s why I will have a “no devices of any kind in your room” rule. No TV, no computer, no iPhone, no video games, nada, never. It’s harder to get away with things when your parents are looking over your shoulder.

Post # 10
Member
6339 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2014

Hmm, my thoughts on those scenarios are:

1. Not necessarily a big deal, depending on the context; eg if they’re holiday snaps, I don’t see the issue; if they’re posing sexily at home, that’s different.

2. Don’t see the issue at all here. They’re 13, they’re young, they’re having fun and starting to experiment, and let’s be honest, it’s JUST kissing. Him being shirtless is neither here nor there IMO.

3. This is a bit more disturbing, but a sign of the times I think; girls are growing up quicker, and I know lots of girls this age who post similar pictures but it’s largely innocent. Yeah, a little bit of flirting with boys the same age goes on, but nothing particularly sleazy or worrisome.

4. I personally have no issue with foul-language, esp on something like Facebook which will be full of their friends. Swear-words are JUST words, I have never understood people who get really offended. Provided they’re not going round swearing every day, and know that there’s a time and a place, I don’t have a problem. Bullying is different, and is worrying; there’s been a big increase in ‘cyber bullying’ and it needs to be clamped down on, and teenagers need to know it’s just as bad as bullying in real life.

5. Having adult friends would bother me. But is it up to the parents to police this.

So in those cases I don’t have major issues. But, I do think parents need to police what their kids do online, and I think Facebook can be dangerous.

Post # 11
Member
1932 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2008

@tksjewelry: My parents as well were always pretty strict on internet usage. We always had to ask before using the computer, and none of us could have computers with internet in our room (yeah, this was before the WIFI days – now that rule is harder to enforce), I couldn’t even get a facebook until I was 17! And I still friended my mother 😉 It did teach me healthy internet habits though. I still try to avoid putting my full name anywhere on the internet, as well as DOB, phone # (don’t even have that on fb!), address, etc.

My mom told me when I was a teenager straight up how dangerous internet can be. And that one of my friends (she wouldn’t tell me who it was), was actually stalked by a guy on the internet and she was going to meet him and he raped her. Knowing that it had actually happened to someone I know really added perspective to me. 

@MarryMeTiffany: Yeah, I agree. I find that what young girls post on facebook is so distasteful. And they wonder why they’re still single :P. I have actually unfriended a lot of girls (young and college age alike) if they are constantly posting inappropriate pictures or statuses. It reflects poorly on me if say, a potential employer was perusing my facebook and saw these people as my “friends”. 

Post # 12
Member
3220 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: February 2012

I think the internet will always be a place where kids grow up faster– I was in middle school chatting on AOL with people who knows how old.  I had “boyfriends” online back when that was the rage, though I kept all chats PG because I knew better. 

For me, I’m going to raise my children to respect themselves and respect others– and hopefully that respect will travel through what they decide to do on the internet. (Though if my kids want a Facebook, they’ll have to be my friends until they’re in high school!) 

 

Post # 13
Member
2239 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

I find it highly inappropriate for 13 year olds to be kissing shirtless boys (or men) and posting it on the internet.  13 is not an age where they are mature enough to know what they are doing. And why does a 13 year old even HAVE a boyfriend??

Post # 14
Member
14494 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

@miss-spunkin: Problem with teens is – their brains somewhere around 13 slide out their ears and disappear for several years.  Teaching is wonderful, checking is better.  We have an 18 and a 13 year old.  I am constantly going through their FBs and Bloggs and deleting things.  Times have changed, things like FB can ruin futures.  I don’t want something that my pissed off 16 year old son said coming back and stopping him from being President (not that he is going to be, but you get the point).  Darling Husband just got a job that deals with Nukes, and they asked for his passwords and logins to everything, thank goodness he doesn’t have them, but it is the way that companies are heading.  Just scares the crap out of me how much information is out there for all to see.  I do try to teach them – Never put anything in writing that you don’t want to come back on you in twenty years and bite you in the rear.

Post # 15
Member
14494 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

@kate169: 13 is freshman, and they have boyfriends whether the parents know it or not.  Kids are great at hiding it.

Post # 16
Member
1365 posts
Bumble bee

@kate169: Of course 13 year-olds have boyfriends.

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