Post # 1
DH and I want a second child soon. Our son is almost 11 months and we are thinking of trying for a second this coming spring. I’m 36 and have a heart condition and so we were advised to complete our family sooner rather than later.
Anyway, for those who had a second child, particularly those who had their second within 2-3 years of the first, how has it been? Does it feel like twice as much work, less than twice as much, or more than twice as much? I’m almost afraid to ask! I’m trying to mentally prepare…
Post # 2
My daughters are two years apart so my first was still in diapers when the second was born. Having a toddler is a lot of work anyway so for me personally having a second child wasnt as bad as everyone said because all the things that make it stressful like the lack of sleep diaper changing and bathing you already are used to doing because you have a little one that your already doing it for. Yes youre doing it double time but now my girls are 12 and 10 and I’m glad I got the baby years knocked out at the same time because the small gap in age also means your baby stuff won’t get too old to use later. That’s my personal experience and I work 40 hrs per week.
Post # 3
When I was expecting my second child, my co-worker told me “one is one, and two is four”. And I think she was right!
Post # 4
- Wedding: June 2012 - Franklin Plaza
I’m just commenting to follow. We are hoping to have ours 2-3 years apart. DH and I are far apart in age to our siblings so we can’t really ask our parents for advice on that one. 🙂
Post # 5
sept22insf: Just commenting to follow.
We don’t currently have any children. We did talk to a couple recently who has a 1 and a 3 year old. The mother stays home and she said the change was very drastic for her and stressful. When she wanted to lay down and cuddle with her newborn, she still had a toddler that needed just as much attention.
DH only wants one child and I think I might want two children. But then we I look at the costs and the demands on time, I tend to lean back toward one like DH. I just honestly don’t know that many single children and I grew up with two siblings. So I still contemplate having two children.
Post # 6
sept22insf: Commenting to follow as well. While my husband and I pretty positive we just want our daughter, I do realize the benefits of siblings (he wasn’t an only child and neither was most of our familes, but I was). But not too sure I like the phrase of one is one, two is four.
Post # 7
Ha it’s like 4x the work and I’m a SAHM. My sons are 2 1/2 yrs apart and I was actually able to breast feed/pump for my 2nd. BUT I was also potty training my oldest. NIGHTMARE!!! Lol but we’ve made it through it!! There are “out of my mind/I just want to roll into a ball and cry all night and night days. And they aren’t always few and far between and I still have those days. My boys are now 4 yrs and 20 mths old.
When my youngest was 6-8 mths old I agreed to take on my (then) approx 14 mth old niece all day, 740-620). During her time here, I decided I wanted to start getting my son ready for JK and start a toddler “curriculum” for my niece, have themed crafts, etc for them to do during the day. her curriculum was more like comparing stuff over and over again (same phrases/comparison for a two week period then switch), sign language and ges for gross motor skills. It was all a lot of fun for them and me.
There were crazy stressful days/weeks With the three of them. Her parents eventually had another baby so now she’s home with her mom. When she left I realized how crazy it was when my niece was here because I suuddenly had all this extra time. I guess just putting out “fires” throughout the day and other things just ate up so much time without me realizing it.
Anyway, my point to that story about watching my niece is that extra kids will ALWAYS be more work than with less kids. But we adjust, rearrange and adapt and soon enough, you won’t really notice it. Some days you will have energy to get everything done and some days you won’t, and that’s ok. Some days you may cry and others you will laugh. I would never trade away the close time I got to hang out with my niece and watch her grow through that year. And as much more wrk I do throughout the day at home with my kids and as angry and upset that I go through sometimes, I look at my boys with so much pride and love and would NEVER change what I gained. I would perhaps have a third if we could, and decide on it.
My oldest started school (JK) this month so I’m down to one baby now and it’s so crazy quiet. It’s nice to have this time now to be with my youngest baby alone but we both look forward to that time of day where we go get my oldest from school.
The time with your kids is precious and goes by SO SO quickly. Before you know it, your oldest will be gone for 6 or so hrs Monday to Friday and you’ll find you don’t know what to do With yourself and youngest lol.
Sorry, this kind of got long quickly. Good luck with your 2nd, wishing all goes well and healthy for you guys!!
Post # 8
eeniebeans: ugh that was what I was afraid of
Post # 9
Much, much less than twice the work in my own experience, and my kids are between two and three years apart. The biggest adjustment by far was from no kids to one.
From what friends have told me, going from two to three is a bit of a challenge and much more effort than going from one to two. At that point you really need to be an organized multitasker.
Post # 10
i’m currenty 5ish weeks pregnant with my second child (my first is 22 months) and this thread is terrifying, hahaha. I guess you’ll always find a way to make things work!
Post # 11
I don’t have kids yet, but I plan to have more than one and have them as close together as I can! Reason being, my mom always said the best thing she ever did to make her life easier was to give my sister a sibling–me! Because with one kid, you are expected to be their sole entertainment. But with more, they entertain each other. My sister and I are 1.5 years apart, and we pretty much did all the milestones together. We were even potty trained at the same time, because I saw what she was doing and wanted to join in 🙂
Post # 12
eeniebeans: My cousin told me, “One is like none and two is like 10.” It’s a lot harder. When they get older and are both in activities, coordination can be a beast!!!!
That said, I think it is very important for kids to have siblings and I love both my kids. I am glad I had a second one!
Post # 13
Oh and I got a third one by marriage. I will say this. I would never voluntarily have 3. Someone is always odd man out. I think 2 is the perfect number. One is not enough and three is too many!
Post # 14
Thanks for the input everyone! I wonder if the variation in responses has to do with different childrens’ temperaments and/or parenting styles and resources. Hmm…
Post # 15
diymomma: Very helpful, thank you!