(Closed) Parents won’t set a budget… GRRR!!

posted 8 years ago in Money
Post # 3
739 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2009

@TinyTina: My parents gave me a budget of what they could afford and asked me if they thought I could work with it. 

Maybe you could kind of do things in reverse – sit down and look at what kind of wedding you want to have, figure out ballpark what that would cost, and then present that number to your parents and see if they are comfortable with it.  So, you will be setting a budget but they will be approving it instead of having to come up with it. You’ll still have the same result (a budget), you just getting there a different way.

Post # 4
1315 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

Yeah that’s a good idea. Maybe look at three diff price plans – your bargain, your mid range, and your dream weddings, and show them the general options, and then see. Then you will have options for each major item – dress, photog, venue – etc. Best of luck!

Post # 6
200 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

If I were in your boat, I would take them at their word, and plan an event that was nice and what I wanted, but I would plan it as if I were paying for it. If I would be uncomfortable spending that much of my money on something, I certainly not spend my parents money that way. And then if there is anything special or splurge worthy, I would talk to my parents (my mom in all honesty, since my dad would completely not care) and tell them what is normal or the non-splurge cost and let them know I wanted the splurge version. If they gave the green light, go ahead.

This will make them a lot more involved in the planning (which could be good or bad), but it also gives room for you to just go ahead except for the really big ticket items.

Post # 7
1184 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

i could have written this exact post a month ago. it was so aggravating not knowing, but they kept saying that they just didn’t know what weddings cost. finally i presented them with the numbers from a couple vendors in there categories – budget, mid-range, and splurge. well, my version of those three – i knew we weren’t having a 10k wedding and i knew we weren’t having a 100k wedding. it was really helpful to them, and taught them that weddings cost way more than they thought. it got them to set an actual budget, which has been so helpful. they are ok with me going over a little, especially when there are certain things that all of the sudden they care about and want upgraded, but in general i am working with that number and have divided it up however i saw fit. it has made my life a ton easier, as now there are plenty of vendors i can just throw out for being too expensive. having too many choices really makes things difficult, so it’s good to cut people out!

Post # 8
1137 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

My advice is to pick the vendors who are the best mix of quality and budget friendly. More expensive isn’t necessarily better, many times, it’s worse because people who charge a premium are already settled and don’t feel as though they need to try as hard.

My parents paid for our wedding and didn’t give us a budget, because they knew that I would never go overboard just to spend money, and that I like getting a good deal a lot more than I like blowing a bunch of money.

We found a 20% off coupon for our venue, limited the number of guests invited to only 1st degree relatives and VERY close friends, interviewed 6 photographers and picked the second-to-least-expensive one because they could match the photojournalistic style, and did minimal in-season flowers because I hated to splurge on something that was going to die in 24 hours…etc.

Do the research and you can have the perfect wedding for any budget. Your parents will be grateful that you didn’t go overboard, and you’ll feel good about getting the wedding of your dreams without busting the bank!

Post # 11
2907 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

@TinyTina:Mine haven’t given me anything either. They just said that

they have veto power on everything.


I still wish I knew, so I could aim at the right level.

I know what you’re going through.


Aren’t they so sweet though? <3

Post # 12
7689 posts
Bumble Beekeeper


So-Schenectady, for #200, ok now-What is the style/feeling for your wedding that YOU want?

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