(Closed) Parents…am I being unreasonable?

posted 8 years ago in Dress
Post # 3
Member
8353 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: March 2011

I think that it is just now sinking in for your mom that you aren’t going to be her little girl anymore. I suggest that you take a trip to see her and take her out to lunch for some “mommy and me” time. You can assure her that you are still her little girl and that you and your Fiance doing this for them would make you very happy. Tell her that you love her very much and that you will still continue to be close to her and that you just want to make sure they are okay and will not be too tired. Just give her lots and lots of love and encouragement. She is probably feeling like she will be lost without you.

I am a mom, so I am speaking from my heart. This is what my kids have had to do for me. It is not that mom’s don’t want their kids to grow up and be happy. We are just so afraid of losing touch with our children that sometimes, we act irrationally. We don’t mean to. It just happens. After we think about it for awhile, we usually come around. We are still sad because we are losing a part of our children, but we are also happy to see that they are able to make it on their own.

I hope this makes sense. Just remember that your mom loves you very much and just wants what is best for you. She is just having a hard time letting you go.

Post # 4
Member
581 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 2015

I think its perfectly reasonable for them to stay over night. You should try to convince them and maybe telling them you already pay for it so they can’t say no (a little white lie). 

It should be a stress free day! 

Post # 5
Member
5823 posts
Bee Keeper

I can see both points of view.  My parents would have driven three hours the morning of my wedding, but I told my mom I had already paid for the hotel room and so if she didn’t use it the money would go to waste.  So she and my dad ended up staying in town the night before.  I would just let this one go and let your parents do whatever they are comfortable with.  You’ve already explained your side to your mom, so if she’s not up for it, then let it go.  You’ll both be happier on the big day, and while it may seem like a lot to you, it may seem the easier road for her.

Post # 6
Member
4 posts
Wannabee
  • Wedding: October 2010

Dont worry.  It will work out. 

Post # 7
Member
2867 posts
Sugar bee

Oh my gosh, I just wanted to say I go to Purdue and I’m having my wedding in West Lafayette!  And I’m from a place 2.5 hours away as well 😀

Post # 8
Member
690 posts
Busy bee

I think you’re being completely reasonable, but at the end of the day it will be their ultimate decision.  I agree with some of the above comments about how best to convince them to stay 🙂  It almost sounds like your parents are being a tad stubborn or like they want to be ‘hard done by’ about you getting married in another town.  Hopefully they will come around!

Post # 9
Member
2867 posts
Sugar bee

Edit:  So I reread it.  I think you should let your parents do what they want.  My fiance and I are from the same town and go to Purdue together.  His parents are staying here in Lafayette as a way to make it “easier” but if they were on a strict budget they wouldn’t.  There are plenty of places to get ready.  Are you getting married in a church?  Are you having pictures on campus before the wedding takes place?  (I’ve already picked out some great locations)  The union would probably be clean and accomodating for changing and I don’t think anything would be weird about it.  My only concern would be graduation weekend being chaotic in the union, but it appears you’re getting married a week after.  I’m getting married at St. Tom’s which is pretty close to campus (pretty much on), so depending on the location of your church it would be okay to get changed on campus and walk over.

Post # 11
Member
2867 posts
Sugar bee

I’m from Warsaw, which is southeast of South Bend!  Thanks for the website!  I’ll keep them in mind!  I love the Lafayette Theatre!  It’s never too late for engagement pics 🙂

 

EDIT:  I just looked through their pics on the website, they are fantastic!  Good choice!

Post # 12
Member
6597 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2010

Can you find a dog friendly hotel to put them up in? That might help convincing them to stay at a hotel?

Post # 13
Member
1940 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

Do you think it’s possible that she is slightly embarrassed that you offering to pay for the hotel room?  Sometimes parents like to think that they are the ones taking care of you, but when you offer to pay for something, the role is kind of reversed.  Just a thought…

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