(Closed) Parents/nannies: Nanny needs advice with one behavioral situation

posted 4 years ago in Parenting
Post # 2
3239 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2016

“You bring it to me, honey.”  “I would love to see that in just a minute.” “Why don’t you hold it up so I can see it from here?” “Sweetie, I need you to wait your turn, okay?”  Make sure to find something about ten minutes later to praise her on so she doesnt think you hate her.

Discuss it with the parents, too – they have probably also noticed the same thing. If they sign off on whatever tactic you try out, you are good.

Post # 3
435 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2014

I am a nanny to a 7year old only child, and I get this too. Honestly sometimes I have to say “not right now, show me later, bring it to me, show me over here, I am busy making dinner right now.”

I do play with her, listen to her, talk to her, let her show me a scratch, a toy she has had forever, a new toy, a new painting whatever. But As a full time nanny, I can’t do everything she wants or I would go batshit crazy. I view my job as taking care of her. I am not a constant playmate. Sort of like a 3rd parent. Most parents watch tv, do laundry, dishes, etc while making their kid go play alone. Just so I do not get flamed here, let me add I have to force her to play ten minutes by herself. She wants all my attention all the time. Even when I go to the bathroom, she tries talking to me through the door sometimes. Really? haha no boundries. Anyways. My approach is to be firm but kind. I need to say no sometimes, and she needs to learn that she doesn’t always get what she wants.

She is also a lot more demanding of my attention and time than she is of her parents.

Post # 4
46675 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

I would stop rewarding her bahavior by answering her every beck and call.

If that doesn’t work, I would move to a token system. At the beginning of the day, I would give her a set number of tokens that she must give up one at a time when she wants your immediate attention. Once they are gone, they are gone. She will soon realize (she is old enough to comprehend the concept) that if she uses them up for trivial things, she will not have any left for what she regards as more important time. She will also learn that she can get your attention by coming to you not just calling you to come to her.

Obviously this does not include emergencies, but I would also tell her that I would be the one deciding what consitutes an emergency, and fake emergencies would cost two tokens.

You can build in a reward system by also including a reward if she gets to noon, the end of the day etc with tokens still in hand.

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