Partial invites – guest question

posted 1 year ago in Etiquette
Post # 2
Member
6947 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2015

No. And I’d be annoyed that the couple didn’t think I was good enough to witness their vows but good enough to maybe squeeze a gift out of. 

Post # 3
Member
5025 posts
Bee Keeper

Nope.

Maybe, just maybe, if we were close enough, they were having only a private ceremony (literally just them and required witnesses), and it is being held somewhere I want to go AND would have some other purpose for being there (visiting family, a romantic weekend getaway with my SO).  But I wouldn’t take time off work or travel anywhere that would require a hotel stay just for that.

Post # 4
Member
9112 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

Nope. 

Post # 5
Member
7644 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

Iffy. It would depend upon how close I was to the couple, what other commitments I might have for that time period and if the destination was someplace I would choose and could afford to spend the long weekend in. I would be more likely to make it a priority if I was invited to both. 

Have you considered a post-wedding celebration local to most of your guests?

Post # 6
Member
5909 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: July 2018

If it was local I would absolutely attend but I wouldn’t travel for the reception only. 

Post # 7
Member
3597 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

It would depend on where it was and who the couple were.

im in the UK and evening invites are ok here and tbh I don’t have that busy a social life that I’d automatically turn down a night out.

if it was somewhere I wanted to visit then sure I’d go.

Post # 8
Member
2155 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

Hard no. 

Post # 9
Member
1085 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: February 2018 - UK

It would depend on the distance.

I’m also in the UK, so reception only invites are totally normal to me, but I’m not sure I’d make as much effort to make a long journey for the evening only.

Post # 10
Member
2181 posts
Buzzing bee

I’d consider it, but wouldn’t feel obligated. It’d really depend if I had other things going on that weekend and how far the distance is. 

Post # 11
Member
730 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2019 - City, State

Big hard no. Seems gift grabby. I am also located in Canada so we live for our long weekends here. I’m not going to skip a long weekend on the lake because you invited me to only the reception. 

Also; jsut curious but, why would you invite people only to the reception? It doesn’t usually cost much to invite more people to the ceremony but it sure as heck does for the reception!

Post # 12
Member
3807 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: April 2017 - City, State

Depends on how close I am to the couple and what my schedule is. 

Post # 13
Member
1121 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: January 2019

Definitely not unless I had other reasons to be in that area. We got one of these invites, well actually my husband did, I was not invited… out of state, reception only, one month after our wedding and I wasn’t invited. He declined and his buddy reached out and my husband just said he couldn’t afford the time off so soon after his own wedding. The guy didn’t even know we were getting married….I thiught he just invited all of the old teammates without even thinking about it. Then we saw the photos after and I was the only significant other not invited, and I’m the only actual wife. 

 

Long story short, hell no. 

Post # 14
Member
1161 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2019 - City, State

Not a chance. I’m also in the “why am I not good enough to see you get married” camp.

Post # 15
Member
57 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: City, State

Maybe if it was family, but otherwise no.

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